Talblog: 3 Divas

April 21, 2004

3 Divas

a little diddy from a few weeks ago....

random story for the day:

so my dramatic aunt from NYC was in town visiting her single opera singer friends (which = opera singers are even more embarrassing than regular relatives). i met them out for drinks at a fairly posh beverly hills restaurant after work last night (Maple Drive Restaurant). by the time i get there, the singing trio has of course drained the bartenders of all their personal info and is eager to make a connection somewhere. so i show up around their third drink and they're scouting the bar for eligible men. well all the eligible older men in LA don't want eligible older women, they want tarts with no boobs, so they can buy them implants in exchange for sex. aaanyway, that was interesting to watch, not to mention alarming.

so i start chatting with the metrosexual bartenders (who are actors, surprise) and it turns out one guy was from Ohio (the other was very keanu reeves aka not so bright). so we start chatting about our respective ohio colleges and partying vs the LA scene etc. then my aunt's friend comes over and blares, "ARE YOU MAKING A CONNECTION? DO WE HAVE A CONNECTION HERE?!?" so i start stuttering and the bartender runs away. wow, that's embarrassing.

so as i'm reeling to try to recover from that, i hear my aunt beckon from
the other side of the bar, OOOOOH MIIIIIISSSSYYYYY (in her opera tone),
DC! WE HAVE SOMEONE HERE FROM DC...YOU TWO SHOULD TALK! oh lord. luckily this time it was a girl, so i knew she wasn't trying to set me up. "kate"
was originally from DC and had just moved here from NYC five months ago.
so she was cool and we bonded over the fact that our witty sarcasm ends up
insulting just about everyone in Los Angeles county. she was of course a
gorgeous waitress/actress and a size 2. more chips please.

around 7:45, 2/3 of the trio was ready to head off to our dinner
destination, but my aunt and i were having fun chatting at the bar, so i
finish my raspberry stoli and sprite and Ohio dude quickly sets another
glass in front of me, saying it's on the house. so i ask if we're staying
for one more drink and friend #1 is like OH NO, WE'RE GOING TO DINNER NOW.
uuuuuuuuum are you asking me to deny a free drink from my Ohio brethren?
NO SOUP FOR YOU. so i totally had to ditch the drink. that's just rude,
not to mention, free drinks from metrosexuals are a goldmine. you all
feel me on this.

then the tab comes and ohio/keanu hooked us up a bit, so my aunt and i
naturally assume that we'll hook 'em up with a tip. but the AARP divas
weren't raised that way. so we end up with enough to cover the tab and a
basic tip. wanting to end on a good note, i had to bust out the plastic
for sufficient payment ....as i do so often. not to worry, my aunt later
stuffed a Hamilton in my pocket, to make up the difference.

the 2 hour dinner scenario in "ThaiTown" is a whole other story.
highlights include: getting the wrong directions....twice. Thai karaoke.
shrimp soup. shrimp cakes. pork sates and unidentified fried things. i
don't like shrimp. not a huge fan of pork either. can't stand Thai
showtunes. i wanted to kill myself.

basically, i got the names of the bartenders and they said to come back
anytime for "the hook up". now to recruit some socially acceptable
partners in crime, cause we know where to party.....and where to never
ever eat. ever.

end scene.

Posted by missy at April 21, 2004 11:01 AM

Comments

Met the aunt. Like the aunt
Met the aunts boyfriend. Like the aunt
Trying to feel your pain. Dinner and drinks in sunny Beverly Hills. Don't feel the pain. Sorry
Call me next time! I'll be cool.
Well.. except for the tourette's. A couple Gin Tonics will fix that.

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