Talblog: Bush Vs. The Cicada

May 27, 2004

Bush Vs. The Cicada

from Cincinnati Post

Though some might argue otherwise, I believe there are differences between
George Bush and cicadas. Granted, both are encased in a tough shell. Both
swarm with zealots, intrude into everyday life, and motivate the populace
through fear rather than compassion or logic. Both seem easy fodder for
higher organisms, yet somehow persevere. Both stare blankly when you ask
them questions, make incoherent noise, and invoke biblical notions like
pestilence and the will of the Almighty. Both are credited with clear
vision, yet make you wonder if they can see anything at all. Both
gravitate toward loud engines and exhaust, and have an ultimate goal of
drilling holes in the ground to secure the future of the brood. Both lack
a discernible chain of command, make decisions based on a primordial
tangle of synapses (theirs or Karl Rove's), and adore Southwest Ohio.

There are, however, discernable differences. If a goggle-eyed creature buzzes into your hair or invades your sensibilities, here's how to identify it:

If it's unsettling yet essentially benign, it's a cicada.
If it has lacy wings rather than sketchy motives, it's a cicada.
If its whereabouts were known for certain in the early '70s, it's a cicada.
If it visits a neighborhood without holding a fund-raiser, it's a cicada.
If it favors renewable fuel produced in America, it's a cicada.
And most obviously of all, if it goes after trees in an honest fashion, it's a cicada.

Posted by missy at May 27, 2004 3:05 PM

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