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don't leave. |
an entry from the Washington DC Craigslist......true wit, right here:
Fucking Cicadas - 27
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Reply to: anon-32135822@craigslist.org
Date: Tue May 25 21:24:14 2004
To the little fucker who dive bombed me on my way to lunch. You retarded, blind, little shit. You flew into the back of my ear while I was crossing the street! People laughed and pointed while I had, what looked like, an epileptic seizure. Bitch.
To the sneaky bastard who tried to smuggle himself into my office after lunch. My boss spotted you on my shoulder. I looked like a fucking sailor with his bug-parrot. I hope you liked the smack down I gave you.
To the beltway hitchhiker(s). For stupid bugs, you guys sure have good aim. Who would've thunk that two little shits like you could fly INTO a moving car! The first one landed on my passenger seat near Georgia Ave. You are more retarded than most of your friends (which is impressive). All you could do was fall over yourself and get stuck in the seams of my car seats. I didn't even have to fuck with you. Your friend though.... oh that muthafucka.... He flew into my driver's side window and smacked me in the throat! At 60mph!! That shit hurt. I almost rear-ended the Saturn in front of me because of you! But I had the last laugh... After you kamikazied my throat, your dumb ass got scared and flew to that back of my car, right at the base of the rear windshield. As soon as I saw your ass camped on my speakers, I cranked up the stereo. I hope you enjoyed 110dB of Dandy Warhols from half an inch away!!!
this is in or around everywhere
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Oh my god... milk.. spewing out my nose.
Posted by: jeremie at June 2, 2004 10:05 PMHAHAHAH...that was such a funny post. Brilliant. I loved those things as a child...then at the same time I hated them. I remember one kid who used to be my crossing guard buddy would take the wings and legs off those things and eat them. He tried to get me to eat one but i said HELLLLL NOOOO. He said they tasted like potato's. I just took his word for it.
Posted by: brett at June 2, 2004 10:16 PMno matter how much i read it, it still makes me laugh. props to random, angry guy.
Posted by: missy at June 3, 2004 5:38 PMI used to have a 250cc Yamaha ENDURO. Driving 60 MPH on the hyway I got SHOT!. I later discovered it was a June Bug. Hurt like a sombitch though! Thank God it wasn't one of those hollow point June Bugs.
I also tasted Bumble Bee on a ride once. Tasted like Chicken!
"You say Cicada, I say Cicaada. You say tomato, I say tomaada....." Hmmmm hmmmm,
Ok everyone together!!!
Love, friendship, respect do not unite people as much as common hatred for something. by online poker
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