chain letters

"The Best Chain Letter Ever" aka i have nothing better to post today. sorry.

Hello, my name is Lewis and I suffer from the guilt of not forwarding 50
billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe
that if you send them on, a poor 6-year-old girl in Arkansas with a breast
on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed
before her redneck parents sell her to a traveling freak show
Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you, and everyone
to whom you send "his" email, $1000?

How stupid are we?

"Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get
laid by a model I just happen to run into the next day!"

What a bunch of bullshit.

Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and
sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing a chain letter that was started
by Peter in 5 AD and brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the
Mayflower.

Fuck 'em.

If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly
amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 10 of your closest friends, and
this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel
from some omniscient being" forwards about 90 times.

I don't fucking care.

Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually
contributing to by sending out these forwards. Chances are, it's our own
unpopularity.
The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave
you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. If it's
funny, send it on.

Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana
with no teeth who has been tied to the ass of a dead elephant for 27 years
and whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you
forward this email.

Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise, tomorrow morning your
underwear will turn carnivorous and will consume your genitals.

Have a nice day.

P.S. Send me 15 bucks

Posted by missy at January 12, 2005 3:31 PM