d is for debauchery

i hate to tell ya this, but alcohol makes you do craaaazy things. i didn't bring my computer to chicago but have a quick chance for a mini update. the $30,000 chicago wedding was awesome. that kinda cash buys a lot of booze...er and a great ceremony and reception. my speech was mediocre, but who cares when you have 180 photos of fun.

1. *bright idea* my friend and i streaked the golf course surrounding the reception site about four hours into the drinkin. we're idiots. we were too drunk to actually remove all of our clothes, so it looked like we were getting attacked. to our horror, a hometown friend of the groom saw the end of our "late night run," so we made him remove some of his clothes to even us out. he chose his pants. i had my camera. he regrets that he chose his pants.

standing on the balcony this conversation ensued:

missy: its really dark out there. i know what we should do. WE'RE GOIN' STREAKIN!
tina: AWESOME! (running down the stairs) where's everybody else?

2. taking shots and obnoxiously chanting O-H-I-O multiple times with the college crew...followed by six of us picking up our friend's 6'5" husband for no reason other than a photo.

3. removing all of the best man's silverware from his place setting b/c he was trashed and kept clanking all the glasses every five minutes so the bride and groom would kiss. this was before and after his wasted, horrifying speech. then him demanding to dance with me multiple times (especially slow songs) to piss off the other maid of honor (they dated briefly). then i got a "talking to" from another friend about it, as if i was doing it on purpose. awesome.

4. oh man, there's so much. i can't fit it all in. will update again soon. just know that our dresses were ovens. it was definitely 90+ degrees with about 70% humidity and we all melted into a sickening goo. after an hour of photos, the wedding party packed in some drinks at the bride's house before the reception. only all four bridesmaids proceeded to strip and practically reshower in the same bathroom. i felt like we were in a porkys movie or something, but it was hysterical. needless to say the groomsmen were pissed they missed it.

5. waiting as long as possible, but inevitably ended up dancing like a trashy whore with my friends...right in front of the groom's very religious family. (atleast it wasn't just me). of course this means i was removing random ties directly from guys and lasso-ing them in. at one point our friend kelley danced under and through sara's bridesmaid's dress.

6. ended up chatting up and spooning with the other best man (there were two) on a twin bed at the after party b/c i didn't want to pass out on a couch....aaaand maybe it's because he was cute. basically i loved walking in to the bride's parents house looking like yesterday's trash this morning....definitely slept in my dress, with leftover hair and makeup. classy....right here.

maybe this is why everyone invites me to their weddings.