why i missed jeremie's birthday

sorry jermie. i thought of you though. and i thought for sure i'd call you before midnight, but i suck. my roommate bess was my fancy date, b/c i am yet again boy friend-less during the holidays.

My Company Holiday Party 2005 highlights…

1. sharing our limo with “ben,” a completely shady, yet dashingly handsome coworker.
2. arriving to the party an hour late (incompentent driver). Atleast we had champagne.
3. bess: “missy, EAT SOMETHING.” me: “but I don’t waaanna. Let’s get more drinks!”
4. watching “kuhns” the mailboy get hammered, hit his face on a doorway & eat shit while the chairman was giving a speech. *still laughing ‘bout that one*
5. “he’s like an onion, he has too many layers & he’ll make you cry.” (see #1)
6. waiting til everyone was shitfaced to breakout my sweet dance moves.
7. having some no-name, wasted accountant tell me my dancing was “just not right.” please note, her sloppy boobs were falling out of her dress. Now, that’s just not right.
8. wayne, “outed” his mom as a lesbian. Awkward.
9. me, “uh, those people are making out in front of everyone.” Bess, “uh, do we need to make out?” no bess, you’re my buffer not my boyfriend.
10. wayne: “erica, where’s Kevin?” he’s on the dance floor. “bess [where’s] your date?” on the dance floor. “Ooooooh.”
11. “I don’t trust a guy who doesn’t drink…or have friends. It’s just not natural. (see #1)
12. realizing that Phil (boss #3) still does not remember my name.
13. judging everyone by their significant others…and trying to relay that bess and I were just friends…for real.
14. NO TOUCHING! What I shouted to a random coworker who was getting a lil too grabby on the dance floor.
15. yelling “EVERYONE MEET DEBBIE DOWNER!” at bess, b/c she stopped drinking…then shoving a glass of champagne in her hand.
16. finally calling it quits at 1:30AM when we couldn’t keep up with the dancing executives anymore. then catching another limo home.
17. convincing myself that I needed to catch up on arrested development at 2 AM.
18. waking up to find my party dress thrown across the living room. Heh.
19. waking up whenever I pleased b/c my company gave us Friday off, as an early xmas present (probably b/c the bonuses will be smaller) to recover.
20. spending the afternoon devising a plan with bess to stalk ben “the bullshitter.”

the chairman definitely shelled out a fat wad of cash for India Arie to be our musical entertainment. overall, it was a really nice party, with some fancy decor...but damn, a lot of the people left early on...atleast stay til they set out the party favors...i mean that's like leaving church before communion..what's the point?