PC, get outta here

Rocco and I hosted a kick-ass Easter dinner this past Sunday. A dinner where political correctness had absolutely no place...here are a couple of highlights that you all would enjoy.

We, of course, got everything (brisket, lamb shanks, a million appetizers…) from Costco. I went to three different stores, just to find the perfect easter lilly, and then almost snapped it in half three times. The roaster was overflowing with beef…like a blessed meat present. Downside - neither of us knew how to cook a brisket...and isn't that a passover thing, not easter? Oops.

Three of Rocco’s friends arrived first, one of whom, I hadn’t seen in a long time. The first thing I noticed was how he’s a lot thinner than before…so after about five minutes I asked if he was manorexic. Everyone seemed to think this was the rudest comment ever made in the history of social faux pas. hey i thought we were all friends here?!? I think I got unjustly berated for noticing his sunken cheekbones. Alas, note to self: you’re rude.

My point: accept my backhanded compliment gracefully. If someone called me manorexic, well, anorexic in my case, I would smile, probably hug them and continue eating my celery stick. Sadly, my restraint when it comes to food is merely to choose the “light” sour cream instead of full fat.

The Meal – God bless us AND our offensive comments.

Dinner-time conversation ranged from marsupials to milk-fat to manorexics. The height of our informative discussions came when mark (our fellow blogger) flippantly remarked, “yeah, I’m an anti-semite.” Everyone just nodded their heads agreeably, as if he had described something simple, like the color of his hair. .... . which is salt n pepper. (with more pepper than salt tho).

About a minute later, my curiosity consumed me and I blurted out ... “isn’t an anti-semite someone who hates jews??” an anxious hush fell over the crowd as everyone consulted their mental dictionaries. matter-of-factness quickly turned to horror as the weight of the statement sunk in ... mark then eloquently retracted his bold statement, “oooh, yeaaah, I meant….” and declared his love for all jews (or something like that). I’m pretty sure rocco’s neighbors at the other end of the table uttered a huge sigh of relief - i couldn't quite tell b/c i was laughing so hard. it was the most "jessica simpson moment" i've ever witnessed - and i cherish it.

We then clarified that Mark was in fact, AGNOSTIC…not a hater of Jesus’ people. just to be sure, today i signed him up for the palestinian newsletter. he may be a supporter of their cause afterall.

Long story short, I made my first successful Brisket and sauce – for 9 people. And no one had food poisoning! (that I know of)

Dessert – Are you washing your ice cream?

I walked in on this conversation between mark and lara…..

“bet you haven’t ever seen anyone wash ice cream before.”
“bet you haven’t ever HAD to wash ice cream before.”

I also made blueberry pudding cake and a chocolate pudding pie for dessert…while trying to scoop some ice cream onto his slice of bberry cake, the agnostic overshot his plate and lobbed his scoop of neopolitan onto a greasy plate holding the final lamb shank.

Instead of calling the loss, he slid the scoop off of the meat sludge, ran it under the faucet and ate it. I would like for everyone to please note the new Easter tradition; Jesus died and was buried. on the third day he rose again, for the customary ice cream dip in the lamb sauce. Amen.

After gorging we all relaxed by the bonfire w/ more wine in rocco’s backyard….i would go so far as to say it was better than thanksgiving…only b/c everyone wasn’t so grotesquely full…..ie Jeremie’s annual wails of pain and bloatation.

and that, my friends, was Easter 2006.

Posted by missy at April 19, 2006 12:49 PM