New Disease

Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent
strain of sexually transmitted disease. The disease is contracted
through dangerous and high-risk behavior. The disease is Gonorrhea
Lectim and pronounced "gonna re-elect him." Many victims contracted it
in 2004, after having been screwed for the past four years. Cognitive
characteristics of individuals infected include: antisocial
personality disorders, delusions of grandeur with messianic overtones,
extreme cognitive dissonance, inability to incorporate new
information, pronounced xenophobia and paranoia, inability to accept
responsibility for own actions, cowardice masked by misplaced bravado,
uncontrolled facial smirking, ignorance of geography and history,
categorical all-or-nothing behavior. Naturalists and epidemiologists
are amazed at how this destructive disease originated only a few years
ago from a bush found in Texas.