The Nerve...

i love pie.*

a few weeks ago my friend noticed a banner at the intersection of Wilshire and Santa Monica advertising a PIESTA & PIE BAKE at the Bev Hills farmers market this past sunday. did you say PIE-ESTA?!?!?! greatest name EVER for a pie festival.

MARK. CALENDAR.

i can absolutely wake up early on a sunday for pie. all sorts of pie. cherry pie, apple pie, mixed berry pie. i was ready.

sunday morning rolled around, finally....i picked up the girls, drove to 90210, parked at my office and walked the few blocks to the farmer's market. we entered right into the middle of two pie booths and a kiddie pie playdo station thingy. next to that was a pie judges judging booth and some chairs lined up for spectators. this is great! let's go find the rest of the pie. hmm, a kettle corn booth, no. fresh crepes booth, no. friggin pony rides, NO. we walked in horror as we realized that the rest of the booths were all regular farmer's market stations selling the usual flowers, veggies and fruits. WTF?!? no seriously. i dont understand.

yep, there were only TWO PIE BOOTHS. TWO. one sold only apple pie slices, but the second one had at least ten different types of pie, they looked so good. "i would like a slice of the cherry pie" .... DENIED. "sorry, these pies are for the judges only." what do you mean, but there are no other pie booths!!! G*DDAMNIT, WHERE IS MY F*CKING PIE??? we had envisioned scenes from southern bake-offs and something worthy of the big cakes in "Pollyanna." this was supposedly worthy of a BANNER on a major intersection and all i get is this.......

sorry excuse of some pie. $2 bucks i'll never get back.

to add insult to injury, the "entertainment" began as i begrudgingly bought produce and honey from local farmers (when in rome...). this barrel of laughs consisted of a middle aged man juggling knives in front of 15 geriatrics seated in folding chairs. i only know this b/c he started freaking out over the microphone system when he successfully sliced a banana in half mid-juggle. they weren't even machetes. "DID YOU SEE THAT! I JUST SLICED THE BANANA IN HALF WHILE JUGGLING THE KNIVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" i choked down half a slice of mediocre apple pie (who puts oatmeal in their apple pie?), then we bailed when Bozo moved on to juggling fire.

i was so disappointed, that i was back at the car before i really realized i had bought a pound of cherries and THREE pints of strawberries to make myself feel better. SOB. (i have spending problems). so i said F you to the pitiful attempt at a pie festival and made two big, fat strawberry pies for me and my friends that afternoon. and they were damn delicious!

someone forward this to the city of beverly hills...no matter how much money they have, they totally suck at throwing parties.

*(disclaimer: not so much peach pie)

Posted by missy at June 9, 2008 10:38 PM