Talblog

Troy

I went to see Troy yesterday, not sure what to expect - I went figuring I could at least watch really attractive, half naked men get into fights and kill each other - a boy, was I not diappointed. The movie overall was what you would probably expect - Gladiator-esque in its legendary proportions, with a story most of us should know from our required school-time reading lists. The most impressive thing to me was the costuming - and the extraordinary physical shape the three lead men were in. So, I say at the very least it is a great movie for eye candy (the women are pretty hot too, if you are into that kind of thing). The only thing that sucks is the fact that they all (for the most part) have to die. At least they all die leaving a pretty corpse.

art porn at sfmoma

i thought this looked interesting...

http://www.sfmoma.com/exhibitions/exhib_detail.asp?id=168

Talbotron 2027

Hi everyone.

Thinking back, this is when the talblog just got started. Those were the days when we were still posting by typing on keyboards. Man... well things have changed.

The year is 2027. Finally (since 1985 and back to the future the movie was released) they invented time travel that normal people can use. I am a test subject, because of my affiliation with the notorious talblog.

What are you talking about? No doubt a question you are all asking yourselves... no doubt a question that I, my former self, am also asking myself. I will try to sum it all up quickly, and leave the meat and potatoes (which we no longer consume in 2027 by the way) for another post.

The miracle of the internet: while time travel has been made possible by our modern technology, there is one major caveat: only energy can travel through time. As perplexing as it may sound, this actually makes sense when you factor in former conceptions of quantum mechanics and special relativity. I know I know... stop rambling.

What better vehicle to transfer energy than the internet... in fact, the only reasonable way to do any sort of communication through the depths of time. Ironically, what was initially used to speed up communications worldwide to an instant, is the same technology that can now be used to move data through time, potentially through hundreds of years!

To the point

The future is a crazy place. You think internet privacy law was a difficult issue to cover? How about intenet time travel?!?!? Not only does it pose "present" security concerns, but it poses security risks throughout the history of electronic transmission! It is highly illegal for my own frivolous communications through time but I felt it of critical importance. I wanted to tell you that DASGGGGGis the most impoDAASASSSSGGGG oh no, it looks like they have intercep ted the tran s fer protoDAAASDADDDDD will try to post again sDDAAAAASSDDAAGG emie.

Canadian Tourism

We have had an on going problem here in wonderful Hamilton, Ontario. There are more people per capita here that talk to themselves while out in public than any other place in the Golden horseshoe. (You may have this problem in your own town.)
It is kind of freaky. You’ll be driving downtown and see someone having a very intense discussion with… NO ONE!
I’m not sure if it’s the health care cut backs or the emissions for the steel companies or what! I’m used to it. I have seen them all my life but the tourism suffers. “Visit Hamilton? Too freaky there, man! They talk to themselves!”

I originally suggested that the Police round them up and put them in pairs so it looked like they are talking to each other but inevitably they would wonder apart and we would be left with the same problem.
I have a new idea.
CELL PHONES WITH EAR PIECES!
Good idea, eh? They’re practically giving the shit away up here with the competition between providers. I say the city should make a deal and hook them all up! Hell, give them t-shirts with the logo too! This way when you’re driving and you see someone alone and gabbing like an idiot, the wire hanging from their will make you think “Hamilton. their movers and shakers here. Even if they do walk around with shopping carts.

5 Cool Things

Here are five cool things to look at, if you are trying to unwind from a crazy week at work and this is the first time you have had to just chill the fuck out.

1. Brett's Powerbook post, which is really worth reading

2. Art by Jeff Soto

3. Cool and crazy random crap from McSweeney's

4. Check out how my friend loren's website got hacked today

5. Post something to this site.

Holidaaay, Celebraaate

wow, it's like i'm blogging with myself, HOW FUN! as we know, it's a holiday weekend and i just wanted to wish everyone a safe, yet CRAZY, amazing 3 days off. i myself will be heading down to San Diego in approximately 1 hour, to meet up with my east coast clan. SO EXCITED. that being said, here are a few things on my protest list for the day (feel free to add):

1. TRAFFIC.
2. CALIFORNIA DMV (i just gave them another 200 dollars in the past 24 hours).
3. MY CRAPPY NEW LICENSE PLATES - 5HHA217 (what the hell is that).
4. VERIZON ONLINE (they don't understand their "first month free" promo).
5. ALL THE BLUEBERRY BITS LEFT IN MY TEETH FROM JAMBA JUICE.
6. MY CRAPPY CELL PHONE BATTERY.

that's about it, got the complaints outta the way so i can enjoy SD. ta ta peeps. "no work todaaaay or the next three daaays....." (black eyed peas).

Bush Vs. The Cicada

from Cincinnati Post

Though some might argue otherwise, I believe there are differences between
George Bush and cicadas. Granted, both are encased in a tough shell. Both
swarm with zealots, intrude into everyday life, and motivate the populace
through fear rather than compassion or logic. Both seem easy fodder for
higher organisms, yet somehow persevere. Both stare blankly when you ask
them questions, make incoherent noise, and invoke biblical notions like
pestilence and the will of the Almighty. Both are credited with clear
vision, yet make you wonder if they can see anything at all. Both
gravitate toward loud engines and exhaust, and have an ultimate goal of
drilling holes in the ground to secure the future of the brood. Both lack
a discernible chain of command, make decisions based on a primordial
tangle of synapses (theirs or Karl Rove's), and adore Southwest Ohio.

There are, however, discernable differences. If a goggle-eyed creature buzzes into your hair or invades your sensibilities, here's how to identify it:

If it's unsettling yet essentially benign, it's a cicada.
If it has lacy wings rather than sketchy motives, it's a cicada.
If its whereabouts were known for certain in the early '70s, it's a cicada.
If it visits a neighborhood without holding a fund-raiser, it's a cicada.
If it favors renewable fuel produced in America, it's a cicada.
And most obviously of all, if it goes after trees in an honest fashion, it's a cicada.

Family Feud

so my boss was on the Family Feud last night. THAT'S RIGHT, the PORTER family REPRESENTED and passed round one of "The Feud." he hadn't mentioned ANYTHING about it. guess i understand why.

i remembered about four months ago they went to a taping, but only heard snippits of what happened. i totally forgot about it, then this morning i get a call from his former assistant, alerting me that "JACK WAS ON THE FEUD LAST NIGHT!" whaaaaaaaat? first of all, i didn't realize this show was still on. secondly, i can't believe i missed it! a chance to see my boss amongst his native people..... so i immediately shot off an email to the fellow IT developers and was like "who dropped the ball on this vital info" (see below).... no one knew sans one guy, who happened to flip by and catch the last minute of it.... BUT we found out that the second half of their path to feud victory will air tomorrow night at 7:30 PM. you better believe i'll have the video division of WMA recording that shite tomorrow.

i have no idea what station it even runs on, but if you all would like to witness the most AMAZING set of front teeth this side of the rocky mountains then by all means, TUNE IN tomorrow night. check your local listings for Mr. JACK PORTER. tall, round guy, not much hair, PHENOMENAL two front teeth.

Missy Bochatey
Assistant to Jack "FEUD" Porter
William Morris Agency
310.786.4682

work email:

uum, a little birdie told me that apparently the Porter family, "Family Feud" aired last night and no one knew about this?!?! if you did know, why was this not made public knowledge so that it could have been recorded, screen shots printed and posted around the office, and used as arsenal for years to come? seriously disappointed in our lack of team effort. word on the street is, JFP and clan won their round, but didn't win the big bucks yet, so they have the opportunity to go for round two. that's right, there may be another chance.....so let's honor WMA's new vision to "promote respect, loyalty and compassion for each other" by keeping your ears peeled and TiVos at the ready. Thank you.

Two Years

Two years, thats right you mother @#%$%ers. Two years ago tomorrow becky and I got married in Santa Barbara

First thing that comes to mind? I can't believe it has already been two years. But lets save the overused and impersonal sentiments for some other article.

Next? Well... I think about being married and all that implies. I don't know... I have been with becky for about 7 years, or about 10 if you include how long I stalked her before we started dating. It feels great though... I don't feel any of the bullshit jaded feelings they talk about in Maxim magazine. None of that "old ball and chain" machismo that scares most guys out of making a real decision. I mean... We hang out like pals and we deal with life. We don't fight, or when we do it is about dumb stuff I fight with everyone about. Like how she doesn't really understand how awesome this is.

What does married life feel like? Well to all you unmarried fools out there, it feels the same as being single, only there is someone who has your back and gives a shit about you. It is great.

Right now Becky is in the other room on the phone stressing about work and her new contract etc etc. I hope she feels the same as I do, because if she does, she will realize that someone has her back too.

interesting 24

So i had an interesting weekend. Went camping up in Sauble Falls Ontario. About 10 min north of Sauble Beach. I couldnt belive how much rain fell on our campsite. Apperantly there was a heavy rain warning in effect forthe entire weekend and we got somehwere in the ballpark of 60mm a day not to mention the tornado that hit the county beside ours. Yea, tornado... that was when april said we were going to ditch the tent for the car that wasnt to far off. We set up our campsite rather well though. I mean, no one plans for a monsoon or anything but for normal rainfall our site held up rather well. We had tarps all set up, I dug a bit of a drainage trech. It all worked great untill it started raining so hard that i couldnt see my hand in front of my face and the trenches eroded into nothingness.

It was sucky untill we went into town to get out of the intence weather that God was throwing at us. WE found a little cafe called the two chicks cafe. Not a bad place, they had a pc to check e-mail and everything, relly homie. I couldnt help but check the blog. Didnt want to post though, far to wet and lazy. Alas we got through it.

I got into U of Guelph today... Really lifted up my spirits a bit. Ahh yes, and isnt it great when you get a test back that you had thought you BOMBED out on and instead there is a big fat 86% staring you in the face. Yea i know what your thinking. Hes one of those kids who always thinks he does poorly but then does well. No no, this was not the case. In fact i wrote the entire last part worth 20 out of sixty marks wrong yet still managed to get a perfect 20 .. how does that work :S.

But the long weekend. Id have to say.... was interesting

J

Warranties CAN pay off.

I was spring cleaning my apartment this weekend and when I moved a bookcase I found the 2 year warranty my mom had purchased when she bought me an Xbox for my birthday in August 2002.

It just so happens my Xbox was on its last legs - it was not reading discs half the time or always getting stuck a little over halfway through a dvd and either eventually making it through or quitting.

So I took it in and got the following for my pains:
• Brand new Xbox
• A new 2 year warranty
• A gift card for $32.00

The original Xbox was purchased when they were $200 - so I actually got money back!!!

Sometimes buying the extended warranty can actually pay off. Now I just need to decide what game to get with my gift card…

Angry Kid

atomfilms.shockwave.com/af/spotlight/series/angrykid2/
Check out the Wanker
You all may know of this site.If not, It's a must see.
I laughed so hard I spotted.

Ex's

This is my first entry on talblog, so yes, it's taken me this long to think of something "important" to write about. So waste some time and read on.

I ran into a high school girlfriend at a bar here in b-more last Tuesday. I'm originally from Philly, so running into here of all places is a bit strange. It's been 8 years, so I hardly recognized her. Quite honestly, if she hadn't introduced herself as Megan I would have thought she was a stranger. Anyway, it's like she wants to play catch-up and I'm really not into rehashing old memories and retelling my past 8 years. Call me selfish, insensitive, or mean, but I'm just not interested, ya know? I mean she was cool, that was cool, but it was high school! Time to put that behind you. She introduced herself and I literally stared at her with nothing to say.

Has this sort of thing happened to any of you? Please feel free to share with the rest of the class yer feelings, stories, etc.

Ice Redux

bling?

P-P-P-Powerbook

p.p.p.puuuush-it , p.p.p.puuuush-it

I personally wouldn't settle any sale outside of ebay or the likes unless said person was present during the sale.

Loooong read.....but pretty dam funny.

Mole King

I'm truly speechless...who knew dressing up dead animals could be so much fun??

Okay, you've GOT TO GO SEE THIS:
http://www.cp-tel.net/pasqualy/kingmole/story.html

Then, make sure YOU SEE THIS:
http://www.cp-tel.net/pasqualy/kingmole/kingmole.wmv (turn up the volume)

exploding laptop

hey all, can any of you recommend a good, affordable external hard drive/fire wire thingamajig. my sweet piece of dell machinery is exploding with music and photos that i would like to safely dump yet retrieve.... preferably before my laptop threatens to delete all my files. i know i can back it all up on a DVD, but i'll probably lose or scratch that. much appreciated.

Coffee and Cigarettes

HEY! DISPOSABLE INCOME PEOPLE! HELP ME OUT HERE!

http://www.coffeeandcigarettesmovie.com/

Limited release. Gas is $3.51 a gallon here so I’m still negotiating with the bank for my next fill up.
It's playing in Toronto but I want to know if it's worth the train trip. So go check it out and let us know. Any takers?
Anyone? Anyone? Buller? Fry?

i'm a slaaaaave...

...to commercialism. okay so i know we just bashed starbucks a few blogs back, but today i failed mankind. i still don't like starbucks beverages, and their pastries are repeatedly underwhelming, however they always seem to have the cutest mug-wear. i go in from time to time for agent coffee runs and always seem to notice something that would make my hot tea look even hotter (i'm not a coffee person). today i finally caved, and for $9.95 i am now the proud owner of a happy, strawberry-covered, tall, plastic, barista travel mug. i think the cashier girl thought it was weird i wasn't ordering a beverage to fill it, but i can only lose so much money to Starbucks.....after all, i'm more a Coffee Bean girl.

on a different note:

i went with rocco to see the crew premiere of "Day After Tomorrow" last night. i think jake gyllenhall was the best part of the film, aside from the effects. overall it was frustrating and ill-timed...parts of the story were fragmented and it just kind of ended. the sweet destruction of the earth was great, but at the same time i thought it all sort of happened kind of fast. like one day you're picking flowers in a meadow and the next your 25 feet under water and ice. with what they had, they did a good job, but i'm glad i didn't have to pay for it. oh and rocco got a credit in the film, that's gotta feel good. zoic created "breath". oh i also like the actual meteorology of it all, how the deep freeze happens etc. but i'm a dork sometimes. overall, 2 stars (on a four scale).

Ice

Talblog

I hope we can put HTML in here.

Traffic

Hey guys,
I'm the noob to the talblog scene.... and I'm going to start off right with a rant.
a rant
about traffic

F*&@ traffic, and F*#% it even more when your in orange county.
So-Cal brings a whole new meaning to the word traffic. Going down the 5 south of LA your in 8 lanes bumper to bumper on a saturday afternoon. Quit having babies people, the roads are already full.

Owned.
http://media.ebaumsworld.com/bearattack.mpg

Complaint Department

so while we're bitching about work.....or wait, we weren't bitching about work? well let me start then.....

people in my office have the worst laughs, (shut up missy and get a real problem, you may say)..... this is something i noticed before, but lately it has been weighing on me since these people (staff and talent) INSIST on building each other up by laughing at their mediocre anecdotes and far-fetched stories. case in point, one of the "booth directors" (people who record the talent's voiceover audition) is this short little man who walks in everyday at noon, with a subway bag containing two 6 inch subs. dude, just get ONE foot long. well anyway, he's not funny. not even remotely. but he thinks that a lot of things are funny.

prime example, he was relaying the side splitting tale of the Jewish Seder dinner. Passover, hilarous. so he laughs. and laughs. takes a moment, then laughs again. he doesn't have the machine gun laugh, but he does have the 'grasping for air' laugh. his sharp "haaa" is followed by a painful, riveted inhale. he's like a dyslexic donkey. talent practically run out of the booth as he relentlessly tries to finish a pathetically average story. he starts the story while they're trapped in the confines of the recording booth, but he can't finish b/c he keeps hee hawing his way to the punchline. since the talent don't listen to him, he naturally subjects any coworker within a ten foot radius to his drabbery. if no one can muster a sympathy laugh or comment he escalates own "laughter" to the point of hyperventilation... thinking that everyone will catch on and burst into hysterics over something such as titillating as his morning commute.

then there's the receptionist. her standards for humor are far above the little man, far above par. she can even tell a joke and relay a humorous story. unfotunately her laugh is atrocious. you know how sometimes you laugh so hard that start choking and all the blood rushes to your head and you're not sure you'll be able to breathe ever again? hers is sort of like that, but all the time. it sounds uber painful, like she's trying to pass a stone. i can't imagine heading to the comedy cellar with her, i'd have to hide out in the bathroom all night for fear the spotlight would constantly be on our table. the first time i heard it, i seriously thought that something horrible had happened and she was doubled over in mental agony. but no, someone told her a knock knock joke. on the plus side, she thinks i'm hilarious. she's definitely good for the self esteem. i'll mildly tell a story about the weekend or make fun of the talent and she's clutching her stomach w/ her eyes are poppin out of her head. plus you can hear the intensity 25 feet down the hall. it's like a damn air-raid siren.....

an average morning includes the "hilarious" cackle of the second booth director. the booths are supposed to be fairly "soundproof", however her witch laugh can always be heard piercing through the padded walls. imagine the warner bros. cartoon character "witch hazel", but elevate it 20 decibles and mix it with a horror movie scream track. please please please, no one tell anymore "jokes". every day.

then there's the assistant who just doesn't laugh. someone will say something genuinely funny. she'll follow the whole story, but only reply with an emphatic "oh my gosh that's sooo funny." you think she's quite possibly bullshitting you, b/c she can't utter a "ha ha ha". but no, that's all you get and she's serious. "oh wow, that's funny." it's dry, serious, in your face, and quite unsatisfactory (if you're the comedian of the moment). i don't get it. i think maybe i've heard her laugh once. very briefly, probably an accident. this is the same assistant who loves to divulge every possible aspect of her life to anyone around....especially after she's just heard something "totally funny". she's remarkably down to earth and very nice, but she's the queen of TMI..... at this point i could chalk up a very detailed biography of her life spanning ages 15 to 31. something i will refrain from doing, but may use later on in future stories.

her agent sucks balls too. atleast twice a week i want to slap him across the face b/c he's such a f*cking baby. he doesn't laugh much either, but on the off chance that he does tell a joke he pratically walks around beating his chest b/c he's so proud of his superior wit. if he needs something he'll shout it repeatedly until someone completes his request or informs him that, "she's in the bathroom," "she isn't here right now," "she's on the phone," "fedex doesn't do late pick ups for cocks like you." okay so the last one was my addition, but i soooo want to say it one day. the laugh-impotent assistant is a glorified babysitter. patting, burping, diaper changing and all. the sad thing is that she falls for it...every day, 11 hours a day, she runs all over the earth for him. i don't see the mutual benefit. hmm maybe i'm just a really bad assistant. and she's a good one. a good one that doesn't know how to laugh. that's enough to make me quit.

i recognize that people could very well make fun of my laugh, except that i don't really laugh at work. in fact i can't say that i've genuinely laughed outloud in a very long time here. probably one of the reasons that i'm currently not the happiest employee. you see, these putty colored walls that i'm surrounded by haven't been to the improv lately, and neither have any of my coworkers. so there ain't no jokes bein' told. however i must say that random hilarious emails from my friends elicit the "church" laugh syndrome.... you know, kinda like when you're in a conference or some place formal and someone tells you an amusing tidbit, but you have to stifle the laugh and end up shaking and shoking on your own breath, so you start snorting and people around turn to stare, but it just looks like you're having a minor seizure, so to rectify the problem you start coughing and laughing at the same time, like you have a funny cold. yeah that's happened a few times.

damnit i should record these things. end rant.

Curiosa

Hey all - the cure is going on tour this summer with a great line up (Just hope they all wear lost of sun screen). Read all about it on pitchfork (with tentative dates).

http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/news/04-05/10.shtml

Built to Spill

Alright,

Im listening to this band alot thease days. There pretty cool, almost garage band style, check em out, tell me what you think.

http://www.builttospill.com/

Why I won't buy Berkeley Farms products anymore

As I sit here this morning enjoying my corn chex cereal and my non-Berkeley Farms milk I realize in order to help me fight those punk bitches at Berkeley Farms...I must post a blog.....

I'm driving my motorcycle to work one day....following a Berekely Farms truck in the left hand lane. We approach the intersection of Franklin and Sutter I believe...I could be wrong though...my memory isnt' so great this morning (to many blows to the head). So as we are getting closer to the intersection I see the truck is slowing down, no signal of course so common sense tells me...he's turning (it was a one way st. btw) or somethings up with the intersection, so I slow my roll a bit and look to change lanes. I'm about to change lanes when all of a sudden i hear this loud crack and then someone scream....as I'm swerving outta the lane.... (stupid truck slammed on it's brakes right in front of me) something hits me from behind, back of my helmet and all. Now there was another motorcyclist following me so I thought...what the fuck...this guy wasn't paying attention and blasted me from behind. greaaaaaaaaaaaat.

As i gain my composure and keep my moto upright I look behind me. There is a hug ass fucking tree branch lying in the street, right in front of the other motorcyclist who's shaking his head. This thing was pretty dam big. I think, holy shit this thing could'a knocked me clean off my moto if i was driving slower. So I look at the rear of my moto, my seat is all torn up, scratches all on my rear fairing (plastic part on the back of the moto). I park my moto, tell all the people around me who are asking if i'm ok, people in cars and all, get off to talk to the moron who drives a truck and doesn't care to stop or go around tree branches that are sticking out way to far. Instead he'd rather just blast through them hoping they won't break or some shit. He doesn't know what to do...i tell him, well you hit a fucking tree branch that almost crushed me, i filled out some generic form he had for berekley farms accidents. Got his info. and went on my way. Called them the next day to setup a claim and get some money to fix my motorcycle that their driver ruined. Sure enough, the guy takes the claim, says he'll call me right back. Calls me back says..."oh, we are not at fault, you must take it up with the city of San Francisco, they are required to keep those branches trimmed." I tell him I'm kinda skeptical about this but I'll contact them in the meantime. I take down his information and say ok, I'll get back to you. I call the city. Talk to a guy there. I got a damage estimate of $586.87 for a new seat and rear fairing...After all was said and done he says...well they are reaching here, but we'll compinsate you $300. If you want the rest take it up with them that's the best he can do. FUUUCK! this is gonna be a pain in the ass. I ask him to do better....he says he can't. So i take his $300. I get a check within two weeks. Meantime I've called Berekely farms about 9-10 times. Left messages with the guy I previously talked. Talked to other people who couldn't help me because they are complete morons and when I ask them to let me speak with someone who has a brain...i get answering machines....every...dam...time!! Figures. After calling them for a month and a half, not one returned phone call. Nothing, no checkup no nothing. No "sorry Mr' Schulz...we hope you are ok as our driving accidentally hit a tree and almost killed you." etc.

What a great company...I'm glad they take responsibilty for their employee's actions. Berkeley Farms STILL owes me $286.87! so from here on out...i will not buy another Berekely Farms product until my $286.87 is repaid in some form or other!! You should all help me in my ban against Berekely Farms products. Those dirty bastards!! I know there probably is/was another way to get my money from them....but it's such a hassle at this point. I really need to utilize that legal advisor we have at work more....sigh.

Thanks for reading.

Model Helicopters

So a buddy of mine, loren, found this the other day. All I have to say is I can't believe it isn't CG. Rob... you will particularly get a kick out of this insanity.

Check it out

Some sketches for you

Hey everyone.. I force myself to take some time and draw today. It felt great and I feel like I am slowly getting my drawing hands back in shape. Anyways, everyone except kurt has an icon now (he will still be a skull and that is punishment for him not posting yet... fool ass). It really makes me want to go back and re hit the earlier pictures. Yeah missy, that means I am going to do another icon for you, me and brett.

I also posted big versions of the sketches in my gallery

Here are a few images I did this afternoon:

I hate mornings

Mornings suck because:

1. Warm bed meets cold air
2. Work may be approching, work just plain sucks.
3. No more star wars dreams (see ya later darth...)
4. Breakfast food is only good at 2 pm on sundays.
5. Alarm clocks are annoying
6. ...so are dogs that lick your face.
7. Opening your eyes feels one million times harder at 7 am than at 12 pm.
8. Last night is gone.
9. Gotta make the bed.
10. ...

(screw it, you all know what im talking about.)

new labtop

i just thought i'd waste some of jeremie's bandwidth by playing around on his laptop, aka labtop in my mind (which I'm thinking of getting pretty soon....well...not his, but one of my own obviously.) so yea....nothing important to say...just wanted to type away on this fancy little computer. that and i wanted to see that cool little icon j-nizzle created for me. booya

Distillers, and Apple Computer

So I am going to fit this all in one entry, because I am tired of my receeding portrait icon.

First of, we went to see the distillers show last night, which was fucking awesome. what? shut up. it was awesome.

The singer Brody's voice held up the entire time, and if you have ever heard her sing you know that is a feat. Besides a few flailing jocks (whom becky pushed, which completely turned me on) and a couple stupid asses looking through the lcd screens of their digital cameras the entire night (it is san fran, i mean, what do you expect) everything about the show was great.

So I am going to fit this all in one entry, because I am tired of my receeding portrait icon.

First of, we went to see the distillers show last night, which was fucking awesome. what? shut up. it was awesome.

The singer "Brody's" voice held up the entire time, and if you have ever heard her sing you know that is a feat. Besides a few flailing jocks (whom becky pushed, which completely turned me on) and a couple stupid asses looking through the lcd screens of their digital cameras the entire night (it is san fran, i mean, what do you expect) everything about the show was great.

They opened with their newest single and kept the tempo crazy from there. They ended with the song "Death Sex", whihc is a rad title and a rad closing feedback mayhem song. The show ended with her playing her forth guitar with the arm of a mannequin and tossing it into the crown. One of the highlights of the show was the song "coral fang"... which brings me to the apple part.

I found this great link on the apple website that "creates links" which you can paste into an email or this weblog that go to itunes songs... this is the link to the "linkmaker"

http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZSearch.woa/wa/itmsLinkMaker

You just plug in an artist, etc, hit search. It then lets you make a link to the artist, band or song...and a link to download itunes. booyah... what a fucking sick marketting tool... and it totally works. Because now I can link you to coral fang and the itunes player. Buy this shit:

New Incredibles Trailer

Awesome looking

Incredibles Trailer

More Magro, Please!

I was lucky enough to get to see Magro when he was in Baltimore. (Good to see you, the west coast seems to agree with you!) Just wanted to say I hope to see some Magro posts - especially since I am the lone East Coaster and don't actually get to see you guys more than once a year, if that.

Enough guilt trip, I guess that is my roundabout way of saying this thing is great. I am trying to talk Kurt into doing it as well, he sends me interesting links that I am sure you all would enjoy.

Knitting is not a spectator sport.

I may have told some of you about my knitting obsession, now all I need is the five cats - I already have one…

In those moments that I have to myself I am usually knitting, since just sitting in front of the TV is not enough stimulation for my multi-tasking lifetyle. I have another blog that I have dedicated to documenting my projects, since I usually give them all away. You can see some of the stuff I have made at:

http://www.xanga.com/private/home.aspx?user=lioz

At the moment I am working on my first sweater for my boyfriend (he is usually my test-subject), which I will post as soon as I finish it. I just love my new digital camera!

It's like an alarm clock...woo wooooo

It's real!!! The other day I was about to get on the on-ramp to head home from work when all of a sudden I hear what sounds like a god dam Tie Fighter flying past me! I looked around to see if i was trip'n or somethin' since I just spent a long day at a George Lucas company, thinking...maybe someone slipped some crazy star wars pill in my water or something, but all i saw was this old a$$ beat up stationwagon getting onto the on ramp. Sure enough it hit me, it was his crazy whistle tip exhaust...holy hell i thought I'd never hear one in person. It was so annoying. Almost instantly I started cracking up laughing it's so stupid, and to top it off....some crummy stationwagon was sport'n it. Tells you something right there.......

Woo Woo, Check it out.

On another unrelated note that I don't care to make another blog posting for...I just realized that Jeremie & Becky are at the Distillers concert right now...damit why am i so indecisive sometimes....i should be there. Idiot!!!

An Evening Haiku

Whats that sound outside
A low and throaty grumble
Man Hocking Loogie

DMV

so this morning i got to work 2 hours late after getting drained by the california DMV. i'm ready to sell my car and buy a damn hybrid. i couldn't even lie about when i moved into the state b/c i got a friggin ticket my second week in town (6 months ago). therefore, honesty has cost me $260 bucks. i will also be spending all saturday morning at the DMV to finish up my paperwork and take the stupid license test like i'm 16 again. the ironic part is that i will probably
fail it this go round. uh no right on red? TRUE OR FALSE, only honk if
they're mexican or their car is worth twice as much as yours?!? TRUE.

the clientele were by far the best DMVers i've ever seen. i had to get
ole blue "verified" by some guy with a clipboard. there were two cars
ahead of me. a white yuppie in a silver jetta, and a black dude in a red
'84 corolla from Ohio. after waiting 5 minutes in our cars, the corolla
starts bumpin as the guy (completely shirtless) blasts eminem's 8 mile
album. right, soon after that he was "in the music, the moment" and
started shaking violently as he pretended he was rapping onstage with
marshall himself. he owned it. amused, but slightly alarmed, i watched as
he rolled his windows up (music was still at full blast). it was damn warm out too.

then some preppy zooms up on his motorcycle, but pays no attention to our single file formation. he just rolls on up right next to my driver's side door. uh hey buddy, what's up, line starts behind my bumper. 15 minutes have passed, the sun is getting hot. red corolla opens his car window slightly and streams of smoke rush out. yes, he was getting high in his car while in line at the DMV. um what!?!?

clipboard guy finally comes out to perform the inspections and we all have to
exit our cars. damnit i was just getting to a good part in my david sedaris short story. everyone seems to ignore the overwhelming scent of mary
jane and continue w/ their business. odd. well that or maybe they were just inhaling deeply, who knows. i think the black guy recently became a member of islam b/c he had on one of the beanies on his head. i like how that
stayed on, but the thought of a shirt was out of the question. he had
papers, boxes and lighters all over the place, his eyes were slits and he
could barely focus. yet no one seemed to care that he was blatantly incompetent. whatever it takes to get a buck for the golden state.

once he mumbled all the scrappy knowledge he had about the car, the attendant responded with, "no it will definitely cost you more than ten dollars, good luck." this scared the nation of islam so he said he had to "run an errand" but would be back to turn in his paperwork. then the DMV guy let him drive off (swerving). and i'm late for work b/c of this guy?!?

once inside, i encountered a surfer guy w/ hair as long as mine, wearing
a tank top and CHARLIE BROWN PAJAMA PANTS. charlie brown. and it was the frame of charlie when he eats it b/c lucy swiped the football. times a thousand, all over his baby blue jammy pants. not to mention he had no shoes on. he was walking around totally barefoot. no shoes anywhere in sight. like i said, interesting folk. mind you i'm in santa monica, not in the ghetto.

it was all topped off when i went to go pay (cash or check only). as i waited for the woman to tell me how financially screwed i was about to find myself, i looked up to notice a lovely framed 8x10 of governor schwarzeneggar on the wall. you have got to be kidding me. he could have atleast signed it.

can't wait to get up at 7 AM on saturday, woohooooo! i have my trusty california drivers handbook right by my side. crap.

i'm a little upset b/c during all the DMV "excitement" my banana got
smushed, damnit, i need a bananaguard! see prior entry.

The Continuum - 10 years later

I got an e-mail yesterday from my HS class president asking for my address so she could send me an invitation to the class reunion on July 31. It seems it will be a casual affair in one of the Athens bars where my friend's band plays on occasion. In some ways it seems like it was a different life altogether, but time flies none the less.

I am in the dubious position of living about an hour away from my home town, so it is quite plausable to go - still haven't decided. I hang out with my 2 best friends from HS on a regular basis (they were friends from the end of HS through college) so I see the people I want to see anyway.

Anyone been to theirs? I am not sure if I want to be reminded of a time when I was more antisocial and depressed or not.

Grad-ho!

So after school today the entire graduating class of my HS got together for a group picture. While it was beeing snpped, I found myself 20 years in the future, maybe even ten, just looking at the picture. I could see my face, i saw all the people around me. It was just a totaly weird feeling.

I know looking back, even at jers ole university grad pics i got the same feeling, exept now its me. I cant help feeling a bit sad. I mean, im the last one and all, i wont be able to watch anyone go through this section of their lives any more, its my turn now.

Humm, its just that id never pictured myself past now, which sort of explains why im having a bit of trouble trying to figure out what i want to do. Ive always seen myself in high school being the way i am now, even when i was small.

I guess the future will tell the tale.

J

Neighbo(u)rhood Fire

A synagogue on the corner of our street was on fire yesterday afternoon. I guess they called in Federal Investigators because it is a religious establishment. The news on the radio said "It was suspicious so Federal Authorities were called in", But I guess it was protocol since it is a place of worship. Crazy though, I had no idea it was a synagogue, it just looked like a house with a cool lookin' mitzvah car in the garage.

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/chronicle/archive/2004/05/13/BAGM86KLBV1.DTL

A new century, and the Pixies are back!

I am sure you all are well aware of the Pixies' ressurection from defunct bandhood. I personally am waiting with great anticipation to see them in ATL this fall. My trusty boyfriend Kurt, who keeps up with Pitchfork Media on a regular basis, sent me this link to a review of a new 'best of" album, for anyone who cares. It got a pretty good review.

http://pitchforkmedia.com/record-reviews/p/pixies/wave-of-mutilation.shtml

Icons

Just posting to see what my Icon looks like.
you know... It's the little things in life.....

Paintball O Rama

Remember the days when we all used to piss about in the woods of Bowie MD. Shoot em up games with our Tippmann paintball guns and that. Well it seems like the entire sport has exploded.

A few years ago when I had my own amature team, Team K-oss, I, and my team mates, all 2 of them, were the only ones in our school to have even picked up a paintball marker. Since then things have changed so much. I hear 9th graders in the hall talking about that sick bunker or some such thing. All in all I feel really proud. Its kind of like when you find an indi band on the net that no one has heard about, only to hear it 2 months later played on the radio at 12 am. I feel like I was part of making something big.

He He, now Uncle Rob even plays Paintball, in fact, he has my old marker as we speak.

Alas, I am glad i got out of that money grubbing game. At the same time, im glad that I am known as one of the old school guys, who woulda thunk it?

J

Celebs have feelings too

every now and then, i'm able to interact with major celebs at my office. albeit, the encounters are always brief, but they're my only perks... well that and free packets of swiss miss. past encounters include, accidently running down jeremy piven in the hallway (he's shorter than you'd expect), oogling at Scott Foley and getting caught meowing like a tigress at Paul Rudd. smooth missy, real smooth.

well just now, i was caught off guard as Kathy Baker started wandering in my little area. she was getting ready for a voice over audition, but seemed mildly upset. i offered to let her sit in my guest chair while she waited. she was mumbling a few things and i finally realize she was becoming increasingly moved by the recent beheading of a US civilian in Iraq. i hadn't heard anything about this until then so i couldn't sympathize....i just checked it out on cnn.com.

http://www.cnn.com/2004/WORLD/meast/05/12/iraq.berg/index.html

i offered her some tissues and got her a bottle of Fiji water (reserved specifically for talent). i recently saw "13 going on 30" (in which she stars as jennifer garner's mother), and debated whether to bring it up. since she seemed to need a distraction, i told her how i really liked it and checked to see that it was still in the top 5 last weekend. i wanted to tell her that Pickett Fences was my all time favorite show (when i was 14) for a few seasons, but it was her turn to audition.... she thanked me for talking to her and went on her merry way. she's rather pretty in person.

helping overpaid celebs all over the place. see justin, you too can make a difference even when not using a defibrilator.

Icons From ME

To all of you with skull icons, I will make more soon, so you won't look so... deadsy...

icons*

jeremie, thank you for the new icon. i don't look so much like a man anymore, but i do look slightly ethnic and 15 years old. i think it's the eyes that are funky. you've got my carefully scultped eyebrows all wrong. make the eyes bigger and closer together. the face, a bit rounder. i don't think my smile is that wide, is it? a cranium might give it more dimension... are you gonna make one for liz and your bro? tick tock. glad you gave your icon some hair, you captured the male-patterned baldness exquisitely. perhaps you can create a blog of just icon transformations. thanks so much.

* don't worry blog-readers, i'm only this demanding when it comes to family...not that jeremie's "family", but he'll be around for a while.

Poly-Paramedic Prob.

So stress really sucks. Overall I think I hate it. Im done with all this HS business. I cant wait till Im in university. Yea, I know, it wont stop there though, no. But thats not it. Here I am, all accepted and good to go for a career in poly sci, and what?s that nagging at me in the back of my mind? Whats that little voice?

But I really wanna be a paramedic it says.

So here I am, just out of a meeting with my guidance counselor. Paramedicine, I need to take night school chemistry. Then, once Im done that, to be a paramedic is only a two-year program. Chalk one more pre-career change up!

Woo, this life thing twisted

J

The Airport

In the most recent installment of "My experience at the Airport," I was attempting to fly from BWI back to ATL on a Sunday night. I planned for an 8:00pm flight thinking I would get home in time to get a good night's sleep. As usual, my flight was delayed (this time for thunderstorms in the ATL) for an hour and 45 minutes. Finally they called us to board, but when we walked down the corridor to the plane, THERE WAS NO PLANE. They had moved it down to the next gate and not informed the desk. Luckily no one stepped off the edge. We then had to all file back and go through some door down to the ground (it was a little plane), where I almost landed on my face after stepping off a curb (it was dark). At least when I got to my car at 11:00 I didn't have a flat tire like last time.

The joys of air travel.

Speaking of Bananas

Check this one out... holy christ.

http://www.syberpunk.com/cgi-bin/index.pl?page=boonga

prevents bruising...

are you kidding me....people make money off of this?!? inspired by a banana, suuuuure. just melt your toothbrush holder.

http://www.bananaguard.com/

Seasonal Scone

"I'll have a tall coffee and a seasonal scone please."

I couldn't believe it when Becky ordered a "seasonal scone" this morning. What the hell is a seasonal scone?

First off... Why couldn't they just write the actual flavor on the little board? It costs too much to manufacture 25 billion placards indicating what custom flavor of dry biscuit you are about to eat. Instead, you will consume the seasonal scone.

Second.. when we acted like cattle and asked for the "seasonal scone" they said "Oh, you mean the lemon scone?" WHAT THE F@$^CK!!

Starbucks your coffee sucks and I hate you. I wish there was a better place that we could walk to. My coffee pot is shattered on the counter top and starbucks tastes like sugary milky shit.

off the richter

whilest shakin my tailfeather during a fabulous weekend in santa barbara (blog to come), i missed my first earthquake. =\

http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/state/20040509-0243-californiaquake.html

a 4.6 magnitude... how could i have missed that?!?! i only had 2 large, redbull n vodkas, one stoli n sprite and a beer. surely not enough alcohol to impair my senses after dancing like a rockstar in some random bar on state street.

well, i was informed that you can't feel an earthquake if you're in a car (tell that to someone on a collapsed overpass). CAN YOU FEEL THAT?!? alas, at 1:47 AM we were being driven to an after party in the mountains, hence missing aaaall the mediocre action. it's a sad day; earthquakes are like a california initiation... a ceremony i missed. bummer.

i'm pretty sure i'll eat my words very very soon.

Nothing REAL about reality TV.

If you haven’t watched yourself, I’m sure on Monday you will meet someone who watched the final Survivor-All-Dick-Heads episode.
No matter how I have tried, I have been unable to steer my family away from this. So, although I have missed most of the screw your buddy, worm eating entertainment. (Did they eat and worms this time?) I watched the last, reflective, back stabbing episode.
In case no one has figured it out yet, there is nothing real about any of these people. They are all pawns posing as instructed by a network that wants to exploit them (and you) for every dollar they can squeeze out.
There was a glimmer of hope. One girl, (I don’t know her name) mentioned, they all play the game at the expense of there own friendships, was booed by the mindless audience because she threatened to remind the “congregation” they too, are humans.
I almost expected to hear chants of JERRY, JERRY, JERRY.
Or Mark Brunette. (It’s only a matter of time.)
Keep your heads.
I'm still venting. I'll try lighten it up next time.
Rob
I just found out her name was Terry (she walked out after the first segment, SHE ROCKS!!!!)

Uber Kites

You thought flying kites as a kid was fun?!? Well Recently Loren has been so kind enough to teach Jeremie and I the art of flying large a$$ power kites. It's so much fun, a bit of work at first but well worth the effort. Last week we had some mild winds (great for J. and I to learn on) this week...we had 15-20mph winds....it was a whole different experience. Pics and Movies are here. Can't wait to do it again.

PS. Those icons rule

Nailguns are just a bad idea.

Nine times to the head! On yahoo

Thieves!!

I hate my sketchy neighborhood...it's a sat. afternoon, I haven't done laundry in almost 2 weeks. Todays the day, it has to be...i have no more clothes to wear........

I get up, take a shower, shave my burly face, put some old rag'idy clothes on and walk over to the laundry mat across the street. I have so many dirty clothes my arms hurt and I'm outta breathe from carry'n all my clothes down the stairs and down the block (i need to work out!!). I get there and I HAVE to use the big washing machine (not normal for me) Put $5 on my laundry card and start my laundry. Now at my laundry mat the washing machine doors lock and can't be opened while washing. So I see that i have 35 min. until my clothes are considered 'clean.' I look at the time on my celly phone and walk out back to my house to do this and that while I wait.

35 minutes go by and head back to the laundry mat. Take my clothes out and put them in a dryer...$0.35 / min. so I put my clothes in for 50 min. rather than my normal 40 min. I head back to my place again cuz I'm impatient and dont wanna sit around the laundry mat for some reason. (my mistake) I've been going to this laundry mat for 2.5 years now and have a pretty good relationship with the lady who runs the place...so it's usually safe to leave my clothes in the dryer (which doesn't lock while they are drying).

To make a long story short....I get back...take my clothes out and put them in my basket and head home to dump them out all over my bed. While sifting through them i notice my favorite Smut Peddlers shirt is missing!?! WTF!? I of course assume someone stole it...and i'm not retarted and just dropped it...so I backtrack to the laundry mat looking all around the dirty pavement along the way, only to be disappointed in not finding it on the street or in the laundry mat. The only thing i saw was a bunch of shady mexicans doing their laundry (i'm not racist...i swear) So i curse and head home and put my other non-stolen clothes away. Why not take one of my $40-80 shirts....why one of my favorite t-shirts?!? Bastard Thieves!! Not really a big deal, but still sucks a little, could'a been worse. I still hate my neighborhood...i can't wait to move. blah blah End rant.

Cinco de May-ho

May 5th - a celebration of mexican independence, or whores.

So yesterday I celebrated Mexico at Chipotle w/ some coworkers. a corona and some guacamole to honor another culture. i'm so worldly. however, upon chatting w/ a couple "authentic" mexicans that i work with, i discovered that they don't really celebrate cinco de mayo at all. apparently independence means absolutely nothing to them. which means that, we fat, greedy americans have managed to monopolize and hallmark-ize an entirely different country's holiday. God bless America. I can't wait til we start celebrating Boxing Day (whatever the f*ck that is).

May 5th - a celebration of mexican independence, or whores.

So yesterday I celebrated Mexico at Chipotle w/ some coworkers. a corona and some guacamole to honor another culture. i'm so worldly. however, upon chatting w/ a couple "authentic" mexicans that i work with, i discovered that they don't really celebrate cinco de mayo at all. apparently independence means absolutely nothing to them. which means that, we fat, greedy americans have managed to monopolize and hallmark-ize an entirely different country's holiday. God bless America. I can't wait til we start celebrating Boxing Day (whatever the f*ck that is).

But seriously, Mexico's only claims to fame are Frida and Cinco de Mayo. I can't understand why a country would rather be known for a severe unibrow rather than it's defeat over some pussy frenchmen. on a completely different note, it was nice to drink in honor of every smarmy, gawking mexican gardner that so often celebrates me w/ catcalls, dirty stares and whistling (AY YAYAY MAMI, MI AMORRR, CHA CHIIIS).

my point:

after work a group of fellow assistants went to El Guapo in WeHo to quench our celebratory thirst and hunger. ironic that the only mexican there was the guy cleaning up my beer bottles and quesadilla scraps (please refer to above reference of "holiday stealing"). Thou shalt not covet thy alien's holiday. anyhoo, the bar is packed with fat and thin alike, mainly sweaty drunks cheering on a Laker's eventual loss with bottom-shelf margaritas. we ask for chips n salsa, we get nothing. we don't ask for unfunny, ugly guys, but they arrive at our table promptly.

"the highlight" came when the local news crew couldn't handle the debaucherous scene any longer, so to close their unoriginal news story, they gave two village idiots a baseball bat to destroy the massive donkey pinata dangling in the courtyard. blindfolded - they were worthless. remove blindfold - still can't knock the bitch open. enraged by tequila and Shaq's poor court performance some guy beheads the donkey and what's inside?!?! the tortilla chips we'd been waiting for. chips. inside the pinata. what a bad joke.

the night wears on, people keep drinking... people start talking. granted i've been at my company for 6 months, but i still don't know many people very well (nor plan to). i'm an asshole, i don't try to hide it. i work at a well known agency, with lots of horny, short assistants w/ inflated egos. i know that people hook up and create unecessary work drama for themselves, but do i really need to know about it? (maybe). i was on the front lines of pasts coming to haunt people....welcome to the circus.

within two hours i knew who had slept with who, who wanted to shag who and who never got the chance. um this was in a group of about 15 people. classic quotes include: (AF is "anonymous friend")

AF: "The worst is when you hookup with people that you KNOW are dirty."

why? why would you do this? are you christina aguilera? i don't even like to shake people's hands, let alone rip off their pants knowing it hurts when they pee. even the porn industry has standards (albeit just as low).

Me: "where is our waitress, i need to pay my tab."
AF: "john here has slept w/ our waitress."
Me: "oh really? well does he happen to remember her name?"

AF: "so the guy i thought was cute, has already slept with one of my friends and hooked up with another. how unfair."

how unfortunate. after 3 hours (and a few beers) i easily recognized the types of people, their prey and their patterns. our group had apparently already cycled through everyone, so they began infiltrating other groups who assumably had already shagged each other as well.

i'm not sheltered or conservative, but i suppose i'd never been in this exact situation before and was so glad that no one had any clue what my story was (sans a close few). The only thing these peeps like more than being fuckbuddies, is telling everyone about it. no thanks. who are these people?!? (answer: whores).

It's official, I'm never dating anyone in Hollywood.

viva mexico.

More things I want to draw

A kids hockey game, a portrait of my dad, the inside of a donut store at 6am, a guy changing his tire, a dog (max), hmmm... more later

War Tax = Gas Tax

A pretty interesting article written by a conservative arguing for a gas tax. Not like the current administration would ever want to tax those humvee owners or anything.

Five good new-ish albums

The Distillers - Coral Fang
The Stills - Logic Will Break Your Heart
Death Cab For Cutie - Transatlanticism
StellaStarr* - StellaStarr* (shut it mr.rhythm)
Mogwai - Happy Songs for Happy People

Nothing important to say

For the last 30 min. Jeremie and I have been talking about what I should write on his beloved talblog (cuz blogs are fun right). Tonight though, I really have nothing to say. I'm tired and just wanna go drink some juice and go to bed, but for some reason i feel obligated to write something clever since Jeremie gave me permission to post on his blog. You know what though...i just wrote like 3 lame stories on this thing....and I deleted them all right after i wrote them....so I'm giving up, I quit. -weak-

I did read this today which I thought was funny...kinda

I guess that's why there's so many BMW's in San Francisco. Frisky little city we live in I guess.

The Sharpie

You know, I was hoping my first contribution to the log would be a pleasant one. “It’s spring in Canada. The Birches are greening. There’s Robins are nesting in the Spruce in the front yard and the Racoons are humping under the deck in the back yard”.
But it is not to be.
It was a nice day today, and all of the above could have been happening, but…

You see, my work here involves a lot of driving on the highways in and around Toronto at least 3 hours in the day. Toronto drivers are the worst. I mean, cut you off by inches, drive on the shoulder, 90 mph*, cell phone talkin’ nose pickin’ assholes that think they are the Omega Man** . The only person left alive in the city and the highways are for them and them alone. It’s like downtown Manhattan except most of the cars have “GO LEAFS GO” flags on there windows. It happens everyday. This is one of the reasons that hand gun controls are so strict here. The 400 series of highways would be littered with bodies.
My problem is I can’t vent. I drive a big blue van with a BELL CANADA logo and a number #####. I want to, but I can’t. My Boss would be on the phone,” Someone called in because ##### gave them a dirty look” or” ##### gave them the finger” or “##### threw a large coffee all over the windshield of their speeding vehicle. Blah blah blah. I don’t need it. I just hold the wheel maintain my composer and tell myself I am better than they are.
But I’m not.
I have a fantasy I run through my head. It’s called, “The Sharpie”.
I’m driving moderate traffic as usual, at a decent speed, let’s say 60 mph*. I hear some thumping. Irritating, heavy beats close together. I am reminded of the Doppler Effect when a red Honda Civic with over sized rims with a Whale Tail on the back (think about it) shoots in front of me with inches to spare. I see him, male, 20 to 23 years old. He’s on the cell talking to Mommy telling her he thinks he’s going to graduate (middle school) and he needs gas money.
In a second he’s gone. Up the left shoulder, throwing up sand left from the winter and blinding the drivers in his wake. BUT WAIT!!!!!
What’s that! Smoke up ahead! I see a car, red, rolling end over end, five, maybe ten times! Terrible! The horror! The humanity! I slow and pull over. Strangely, the rest of the traffic doesn’t seem to care? Look! It’s my “drive like I don’t give a fuck” buddy! His broken, battered body is hanging half out of the wreckage that used to be his car (likely given to him by his rich parents for losing a tooth) What should I do? His eyes open from behind is backward Nike baseball cap. I hear a strained “Help me!!!” I look down at his pathetic broken body, reach into my pocket and draw my Sharpie. On his forehead I write “I DROVE LIKE A FUCKING IDIOT ON THE HIGHWAY”
I return to my vehicle and drive away.
I have yet to see if the above makes me feel better.
Please don’t think badly of me.
Rob
*converted from KPH
**Movie with Charlton Heston (before the NRA) Circ 1971. Watch it.

Beanhole!

Beanhole the game!

Loren's Birthday Crawfish Feast

Loren flew 90 freaking pounds of live crawfish from Lousiana and had two mini kegs over at his place today. So good, so spicy, soo delicious. check out more pics

Not to mention the beanhole... thats right... the BEANHOLE. Loren and Brett stayed up all night last night building a little hole in a piece of wood and meticulously sewed homemade beanbags. I guess the game is part shuffleboard, part bocce ball, and a bit more beer. Toss the beanbag into the hole and you got a BEANHOLE! Anyway, made for a great saturday.

Loren will probably post more stuff: www.underachievers.com