first off, i'm peeved, b/c i started this blog before and it was funnier... but a coworker came to download something and lost my entry. focker. anyhoo...
So yesterday was my birthday. Everyone, please, don't rush around to send me well-wishes and large bouquets of flowers...... because no one else did either *GASP!* i'm not whining or complaining... just stating a fact (read: complaining). This was one of 'those' birthdays. I usually plan something fun and outgoing, but decided to lay low this year....big, big mistake. note to self: plan, send invites, evites and badger repeatedly.
The day started out rather well. I got up early to head to the DMV, because my license expires, um, today. However, i took 15 minutes too long to get ready and decided just to get to work early instead of rushing off to stand in line. I decided to to look nice and wear the new silk skirt that my mom bought for me on vacation... I even dried my hair. Unbeknownst to me, my roommate stayed up late making some really pretty garland to hang in the living room, then placed a present on the couch. !Surprise! Quite a fabulous way to wake up really. PRESENTS!!!!! not even the smelly homeless man leering near my car could wipe the smile off my face. It was my birthday, I felt awake and damnit the sun was shining.
The commute was fabulous, barely any traffic. I got to work 40 minutes early to finally confront my boss about taking wednesday afternoon off. Reason being, i have the opportunity to work at the Latin Grammy Awards downtown that day (something i've known about for a week and a half). He begrudgingly obliged, after i swore that it would be OK with HR.... um well i think it will. I doubt he has any clue what the Latin Grammy's are, but that's beside the point. I didn't tell my boss it was my birthday because, #1. that's slightly rude and #2. it wouldn't have made a damn bit of difference. The man is clueless when it comes to doing nice things for his coworkers.
Bossman seemed to be in a bit of a "mood" and promptly piled a couple tasks on my to do list. I huffed and puffed, but afterall it is my job to "assist him" so i got to work. please note that i've sort of made my own job description b/c his task requests are so intermittent. i've been helping out other offices with minor projects, but don't always inform him, so he thinks i write emails all day. obviously wrong. i blog. a couple birthday phone calls came in, so i took them cheerily. A happy employee is not the sound a boss wants to hear, so he huffs n puffs and tactlessly hotlines me and sneers, "WHEN WILL I HAVE THAT FILE?!" well, last time i checked, i could multitask sir. so i'm actually filing while receiving my birthday wishes. sheesh.
Then the morning progressed with a lull. I received about three emails from my mom and two from a good friend from college. However, NONE of these emails included any birthday cheer. fizzle. Finally, at 11:30 AM (2:30 PM EST) I can't stand that my mother could have possibly forgotten my birthday so i emailed her, "um hi, it's my birthday.....is there anything you would like to say to your lovely daughter?!?!?" EIGHT hours later, at 7:03 PM (10:03 PM EST) I received this email to my work account......
Subject: Oh my poor baby!!!!!!
Oh sweetipie I am soooooo sorry I forgot it is your BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!! Hooray! ....heck you got all your goodies last week...quit grouching!
I hope you made it perfectly CLEAR at your office that it IS YOUR B-DAy so that everyone could make a terrible and terrific FUSS and TAKE YOU OUT TO LUNCH!!!
Well, dear...hope it has been a wonderful day. LOVE YOU! mom.
can you feel the love? i can.
Realizing full well what has happened, i continued to email/talk to people who had obviously forgotten about my blessed day. i stopped pouting slightly to email the rest of the bunch and hoped they felt like asses for not checking their calendars. (I even had it as my instant messenger away message!)... then the college friend sent this email....
Crap. I'm an ass!!! I thought that today was the 29th!!! Stupid me. I
didn't even look at the stupid calendar! I knew it was your birthday.
Sorry. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! :)
right-o... i won't bore you with the others, but that's the gist of it all. luckily my sisters remembered and my two closest friends. so it's okay. wait a minute, i don't think i even heard from my dad. what in the hell! addendum.... dad just called five minutes ago. he feels bad, he fell asleep before he could call. forgiven. The best was my friend bess, she called to relay a minor message, chatted for a good five minutes, then asked how my day was.... well it's my birthday today. "SHIT!" it's okay, she sent me a gift. after this point, my phones started ringing and e-cards were sent as the gateway friends sent out the red alerts and carrier pigeons.
Anyhoo, i continued to work diligently and get sideways glances from my boss (he rarely speaks directly to me) so i ignored him and finished his pile of invoices before lunch. my friend here at work spilled the beans to my department 15 minutes prior, so we opted to lunch with some beloved geeks instead of just us two. On my way out, bossman tries to put on a smile and says, "SOOOO IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY!" "yep, sure is." "SO HOW OLD ARE YOU TODAY?!?!" "25, bye." i handed him his folder and walked out AS i said the last part. rude? yes. deserved? yes. the man had passed by my desk atleast two times right before this and could have easily said something before he knew i'd be out the door.
i don't know what gets to me about that man....it's like, why does he even try if he has no plans to back up his attempts at conversation? he wasn't going to take me out to lunch or even consider having a conversation that extends beyond the overtly superficial. it's frustrating. i seriously doubt he could write a list of 5 things about me, (that aren't in my HR file). i've worked for him for almost TEN months! maybe it's annoying, because he thinks he's a good boss. a decent boss? yes. a good boss or mentor, absolutely not.
but forget that whining...the rest of the day brightened. lunch was tasty and filling, coworkers wished me well and one even shares my birthday, surprise! Three of my good friends out here met up with me for drinks after work, threatened to buy me shots and made me chug wine... then my roommate met up with us for a delicious dinner at The Stinking Rose (a restaurant specializing in garlic cuisine). my mother had called by now as well as a few others. it felt good to have my cell phone exploding with messages. we made fairly large asses of ourselves at the restaurant and i didn't care at all. it was really fun. sidenote: never EVER get the garlic icecream, i didn't realize it would actually be garlic flavored. sick! get the sorbet instead. i made a wish anyway and blew out my candle with a smile. I made it home at a semi-decent hour, but obviously i didn't make it to the DMV today. crap. raise your hand if you'll be driving illegally at midnight tonight! me me me.
The calls and e-cards continued to trickle in today, so i'm grateful people remembered at all. stop bitching missy. I'm 25, but oddly i don't feel old so much as I feel like now i should be mature. ugh, how boring of me. next year i want flowers.......... and my mom forgot my birthday.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
We finally upgraded to OSX at the office last week and I am loving every minute of it! I had it on my laptop, but hadn't had the opportunity to put it through its strenuous design paces, and it rocks! Everything seems even more user friendly. When technology decides to be your friend, it is a good friend indeed.
so i went to the dentist this morning. mistake #1. i made this appointment well over a month and a half ago b/c the good doctor was having back surgery. This is the same guy becky went to when she lived in LA, so I felt it was a good place to start. I'm a big fan of going to the dentist every six months, however it's been nine, so i was anxious to shine up my grill.
side note: back in october of 2003, i'd thought i'd be a good girl and floss. well, halfway through the flossing i hear a pop, chink chink chink. look down and there's a chunk of my filling sitting in the sink. fuck! see flossing IS bad for you. mind you this is right when i moved to LA and happened to be visiting becky and jeremie in San Fran. luckily the tooth wasn't exposed so i flossed daily and waited to have it replaced by my dentist of 14 million years back in VA at Christmas time. no problem.
flash forward to today. i'm fairly confident walking into dr. dentiste's office this morning. I brush twice daily, floss when i remember and don't consume too much candy or soda. but you see dr. dentiste is a bit of a snob. the first visit is merely a consultation. i suppose this is to decide how much of a sucker you are. i was actually ontime, filled out the 75 forms then proceeded to get full Xrays, partial Xrays, digital photos, polaroids and cave drawing images of every section of my face. i was just peeved 'cause i had to take out my nose ring which isn't exactly easy to get back in. nothing like a puffy left nostril for the rest of the day....atleast the xrays are black and white (it's more slimming).
the good doctor was late. so i got to sit in subzero office temperatures, wear a bib, and read a stale issue of Newsweek for 20 minutes....all the while, wondering if a homeless man outside was peeing on my car outside. anyhoo, Shenberg arrives and talks to another doctor for ten more minutes, my meter is only good for two hours doc. He enters with a whim and immediately starts bossing his assistants around. I could immediately tell he's a great guy to patients, but very "particular" with his staff. aka, i wouldn't want to work for him.
He starts going over all the digital images with me, charting graphs, bouncing sonar waves, lasering molars and altering the direction of the barometer, all with a click of the mouse. well maybe he didn't change the weather patterns, but i was semi impressed with the technology. made me think my old doc was a bit 18th century with his little water pik and silver poker thing. Fancy pants Shenberg then grabs a digi camera wand and more flourescent light gadgets to poke and prod my teeth (all the while barking at the assistants to raise and lower my chair). I felt like my poor civic at it's 30,000 mile tune up.
I would catch a glimpse of what he was looking at every now and again only to be horrified by what i saw and heard. at one point the "laser" thingamajig, which detects tooth sensitivity or some shit was going wild. He then explained that a healthy tooth registers a reading at 10 or below.... well not one but TWO of my teeth definitely had readings of 46 and 51. FUCK ME! i won't bore you with horrific details, but the revelation is: on the surface my teeth look fine, apparently below the surface, bacteria is silenting waging an Alien Vs. Predator type war below the enamel. i almost passed out. As he explained the damage, he could tell i was about to passout, so he reassured me that my teeth would in fact NOT fall out anytime soon. phew, thanks dude.
basically when dentists of years past put my sealants on, they didn't clean them well enough, so they sealed junk in which has now started feeding on my poor teeth. fuckers. oh and that nice little filling that was just redone in december? yeah well that cracked again and had expanded so it was cracking my actual tooth. triple fuck. so he said it's only a matter of time before it crumbles and that bitch needs to be replaced. ugh. btw - this wasn't even a cleaning...that's ANOTHER appointment.
Most of the stuff he suggested was more "preventative" work, because i don't have full blown cavaties (minus two), just dark spots that will inevitably rot away. awesome. he so cleverly calls this initial meeting "co-diagnosis"... b/c "i see what he sees and we can 'both' make decisions on what to do for my tooth welfare." how about i shit a wad of money and you jack hammer my teeth? novacaine is extra i assume.
TWO hours from my arrival time, i was standing in front of the receptionist begging for appointments to fix my dysfunctional bicuspids, molars, and whatever other teeth i have. I wish this was part of a reality series, because i feel as though i was just in my own infommercial. Then it hits me, um how in the hell will i pay for all this work i need done? The lady prints out rundown of the damage which totals (drumroll please), $1,730 dollars. whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? basically whatever insurance covers, i'll get done. what insurance doesn't cover, i'll have to take up a collection for. how much do high price call girls make?!? fucking ridiculous.
everyone was really nice and convinced me that they too had similar reactions when they had their teeth "analyzed", however i probably walked out of there and they dropped their jaws to snicker at my chart.
i was so distressed that i popped open a Mt. Dew for breakfast and called becky to vent. *sigh*
so remember folks, don't eat or drink....anything. you may be harming your enamel. oh and chew Orbitz gum, that has zorbical or some bacteria fighting goodness. that's the tip of the day. I'm off to hide my hideous molars.
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=817&e=2&u=/ap/beer_bear
perty funny. Bears just wanna chill out and drink beers too.
Go to Becky's post! it rules!
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