Talblog

FYI

So i caught one of jer's comments on how i use jtalbot to sign my name on this thing. Well i just thought i would let everyone know that jer beat me up alot when we were little. I tell you this because it caused huge emotional scars and, well im deeply hurt by them all. When i used jtalbot i thought he would understand, but "sniff" hes bullying me again, im afraid hes gonna beat me again for using his name. Please rally behind me and confirm that i am THE ONLY JTALBOT

joke of the day

Two turtles go camping and pack a cooler with sandwiches and beer. After three days of walking, they arrive at a great spot but realize they've forgotten a bottle opener. The first turtle turns to the second and says, "You've gotta go back and get the opener or else we have no beer."

"No way," says the second. "By the time I get back, you will have eaten all the food."

"I promise I won't," says the turtle. "Just hurry!"

Nine full days pass and there's still no sign of the second turtle. Exasperated and starving, the first turtle digs into the sandwiches. Suddenly, the second turtle pops out from behind a rock and yells, "I knew it! I'm not f-cking going!"

makes me laugh every damn time.

A List of Good Things

I am borrowing this format from www.mcsweeneys.net, simply because it is a great idea.

1. Proscuitto

Delicious with melon. Makes you feel more worldly and full at the same time

2. Song number 4 on the recent "Rise Against" album, siren song for the something er other

Great and fast, with cheesy, delightful lyrics something like - I can't tell if you're laughing, cause through the smiles I see tears in your eyes... YES. Oh yeah, adam, I have to get that CD back to you. Sorry.

3. Making your own meatballs

Recipe to come, but I am a big fan of making food that I can just smash together and cook. What does it really take to make a good meatball... meat? jesus, I can't believe people buy them at a restaurant. See #4, Making your own Guacamole.

4. Making your own Guacamole

See number 3

5. IWC Watches

Handmade, loses less than a second a year, with no power but the motion of your arm and a freaking weight. Old school automatic craftsmanship that makes a rolex look like crap. Awesome... the 20000 dollar ones are the best. Wait, what?

6. Flat Files

Why do they make these so expensive? I really want a good one but don't want to spend a freaking GRAND on it I would love to have one to store all our paper in though, I am tired of not having a clean space to keep good paper.

7. That new interpol song

It goes something like, dah nananana dah nananan I am so monotone and cool, you people think you are indie but I am so rich now, dahahnananna. YES.

8. Swiss Chalet Chicken

A canadian restaurant - freaking excellent. Think "boston market" meets a real restaurant and replaces the crappy stuffing and glue gravy with CRACK gravy. I can't stop salivating, and I would LITERALLY almost move back just for that. Check out alwayscanadian.com to see all the other canadian goods that me and everyone else from up there misses

9. Going to bed right now

Goodnight.

Rasterize this!

A guy I work with sent me this link - you can rasterize the hell out of some images to make huge posters. Good when you want to create a huge wall mural in your dorm room.

http://homokaasu.org/rasterbator/

Star Trek vs. Star Wars

In 5 min.

Nuuuuuuurds.

Seriously though, there is way too much crazy information there...just skip to the conclusion. I think some kid did this as a research assignment in college or something, but either way, its just stupid...so I thought I'd share it. ;P

Year of the Rat

I just found out that itunes has music videos.... cool. A friend was showing me this one video by badly drawn boy called "Year of the Rat". It's animated and cutsie. Check it out if you have time.

This will take a little bit of work, so, missy, this probably isn't for you. First, you need itunes. Go to music store. Left menu select music videos. There are 253 to choose from, you want the 43-63 range. Second one over, third down.

Starr-filled Emmys

I had the pleasure of going to the Emmys yesterday. i found out thursday night that i was going, so i spent all of saturday searching for a damn hot outfit. becky and my dad works for Reuters News Pictures in the Washington DC bureau, so anytime his cronies out here need assistance for big shows they sometimes called on becky and now me. sometimes it's work, sometimes it's not, but i get to dress up and get paid to see celebrities. a hard day's work.

i have just minor stories as this year was big, semi-glamorous and went off without a hitch. but that doesn't mean i can't make a mountain out of a molehill....... "kevin and bean" are two morning radio hosts on LA's KROQ...... and they're hilarious. they hate all the LA people who suck (like ryan seacrest) and they like people who oppose "the man" etc... well this morning i woke up to them totally bashing Starr Jones' red carpet report from the Emmys. They HATE her almost as much as they hate Joan Rivers and were making jokes like how she was out of breath just standing there, followed by soundbites of actual interviews that made her sound like a complete moron.

if i was more awake i would have called in to share my little story, but i decided to sleep in today, therefore i was forced to send them this email... sidenote: when anyone says hello to lisa may, they have a little school bell that dings. Ralph is their entertainment guy (most recently seen on Joe Schmo 2 as the smarmy host):

Dear Ralph, Kevin, Bean and Lisa May (ding!),

I woke up this morning to the painfully accurate commentary on Starr Jones from the Emmys, however there's one story I think you all need to know. I was at the Emmys yesterday as a photographer's assistant, and was placed on the red carpet right next to E!'s telecast setup... as you may know, directly behind all of the photographers and mini TV sets, there is a scaffolding where all the messengers and assistants camp out during the red carpet extravaganza... I wasn't very busy so I spent most of my time seeing who E! was interviewing.... you guessed it, I was subjected to excrutiating on-air and off-air commentary by Starr and her crew...I had no place else to go. First of all, before the red carpet began Starr was prancing (well she can't really prance, but it was close to that) around the empty red carpet just waiting for photographers to take her photo. We were situated right at the front of the red carpet line up, so many celebs couldn't escape the salivating E! producers or Starr's ridiculous questions.

You may remember that Starr started the red carpet show in a gold frock, but ended the pre-telecast in a pink and silver gown. At one point, I noticed her assistants getting all revved up; sorting out shoes, jewels, a very large dress, and yes, one Chinchilla wrap. I looked around me, bewildered, because there was no changing room anywhere. To my horror, the assistants informed me that yes, she would be changing right then and there behind the cameras! (*GASP!* THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!).

Moments later, she suddenly signed off to a commercial, launched her mic at a crew member and shuffled past the camera guy... then, right on cue, a grip ripped out a FULL-SIZE BLUE TARP which would act as her dressing room. We're talking a tarp that could cover half a roof. I hate to be rude, but about 99% of the actresses last night could have changed behind a trench coat, but Starr got a huge, blue tarp. totally "inconspicuous" too. And poor Laura Linney, who was merely expecting a 20 second interview, had just stepped up and was left standing there for well over two or three minutes. She was forced to witness this and get shoved about by the crew.

Limbs, jewels, clothing and assistants were flying everywhere. Everyone was so focused on Starr that they didn't hear the cameramen making fun of her, two feet away... Speculating how if someone had a camera on the roof of the Shrine right at that moment, they could get a hefty sum of money from the tabloids.... uh really? big money for nudey pics of Starr Jones?!? odd, but I pondered the monetary prospect and the camera in my hand. However, I seriously couldn't even look over at the tarp debacle, for fear of what might be revealed. Later on I heard someone say, "see she didn't even need a bra with that gown!" Thank God I didn't look.

It took her a few more segments worth of time and a few more comments about her pending nuptials before her entourage could get her all straightened out, but by then the preshow was over. My question.... when will E! find some decent talent?

Missy from Venice.

PS - i do have a photo of the tarp event, no nudey shots, but in the interest of not wanting to be forbidden from future emmy shows, i'll just email it to all my friends instead.

PPS - when brad pitt and jennifer anniston walked onto the red carpet, one of starr's assistants LEPT over the railing and practically attacked brad pitt. she stayed there begging and pleading for either of them to come talk to Starr, brad passed quickly, but jennifer was actually convinced to stop and say hi. I think starr reached nirvana during that interview and as jen walked off the set starr pretended to faint and was once again, out of breath.

Brock U Foot Patrol

So tonight i had foot patrol, its 3 am and my shift is done. YAY. Wow what a night tho! Its amazing how much authority i get, its also very good, you see sometimes i think only the foot patrol perssonel and the CP are the ones equiped to deal with the shit that goes on here. Tonight for example:

I got two walks, those are just when people are scared of going home alone so you and a partner go with them. Then, we walked around and looked for open containers and got hassled, we found a guy smokin the jane where she wasnt needed so we called it in, no one needs that on campus. Then the fun started, there was a med call, some diabedic chick went hypoglycemic cause she drank too much. So i heard the call, ems was called, but in the lag time i responded to the casualty, it was really intense. After that 300 people got out of the bar, we had to get them all home safe so we had to do some crowd control, that was cool ... RESPECT MIA AUTHORITAHH... There i almost got jumped by two jamacin gang members, that was insane, i told them not to turn me into a dick cause all id have to do was call for assistance and the cops would be there in 30 sec, which is the truth. When they left, i was graced with an obvious drunk driver whom i reported right away... And that was my night...

Yay, of course it issss 3 30, and i am really tired so i hope all that made some sence...

J

IVAN-ho

Hurricane Ivan just hit the florida panhandle/alabama region, which is where a bunch of my southern friends live. This is an email i just got from my friend who's from Fort Walton Beach, FL.... right on the pandhandle, I was just there three weeks ago for her wedding.. she just moved to Birmingham, AL with her hubby and all my other friends. her stepdad is one of the major Farm State insurance agents in FWB... he's got his work cut out for him....

Hey girls! Well My parents didn't evacuate and I haven't heard from them either- nice! Yeah they called me last night around 7:30pm and I tried to call them back last night around 9 and the phones were already gone. And btw we have satelite tv and it was gone yesterday around 1pm-my mom was pissed cua that was frank's great idea to have satelite. Yeah it sucks don't get it! I actually do have power right now and kim doesn't interesting. Nik's crap apt isn't quite as crappy as I thought. But yeah back to fwb- Hwy 98 1/2 of it destroyed. There is water in Los Panchos and the Hightide. The island and the beaches- you can't even see them cuz of the water. I think my house is probably fine, it was during opal so I am not that worried about my parents- just wish they'd call. Oh well. ALright well I better get off incase the power goes off. Talk to you ladies later! Love y'all-brooke:)

Kurt has an Icon!

Hey there everyone! I got off my fat ass and sat on my ass and drew for an hour last night... Kurt has a shiny new icon... More updates are coming.

Plus, as an added bonus, there is a pull down menu to the "Post to Talblog" above.. just pull the little deal on the upper right of the screen and select "post to talblog" to bring up the posty screen thinger.

Resfest 2004

It's that time again!

http://www.resfest.com/

Senior Photos

http://www.planetdan.net/junk/seniors/

Reunion in my Brain

So I had a dream that the college crew were all hanging out in a nice little visit. I was good seeing you guys again, even if it was only in my dream addled brain. Too bad its not that easy to get us all together again.

Noise

Okay. So we start the work day with some quiet time. sweet. Next, one co-worker turns on his itunes and listens to some blues. fair enough. Next, my boss turns on the communal stereo to listen to talk radio, blues stays on. Okay, so now I can't really concentrate on either. Next, my other boss + daughter arrive. Now add to the above cacaphony a five year old simultaneously riding a bike, shaking a rattle, and endlessly pushing the 'play' button on her new talking Care Bear. It's going to be a long day.

hot and cool

So yea, the title sums my university experiance up so far. At times its the coolest experiance of my life. At others this damn school seems like its going to chew me up and spit me out. Belive it or not this is only my first week of actual classes. Tell me, how will i survive this intertwined mess of fun and disfunction! Because as of right now, everyone that reads this blog has done it some how or another.

Regardless of the toils I am indeed learning. Yes i will relinquish that this steady diet of mini floor hockey, not eating, and constant reading is getting me SOMEWHERE. For example i will provide all of you with some of my interesting learnings of poly 1f90:

Poll : 30/35 countries selected Kerry (Canada 61% [16% Bush]) For bush Poland Philippines, Nigeria. Germany 74% in favor of Kerry. International Policy Attitudes - (U. of Maryland and Globe Scan Toronto)

Now that doesnt really come as a shocker to me. Nor does it to you jer :P but cummon! How could anyone say no to that face, poor bush. But thats really the case isnt it. As my prof, Paul Hamilton explaind so eliquantly, Sure some people may indeed favor bush. They may say that he has the best interests for America at heart but can anyone actualy give cold hard evidence of his positive political contributions to the country or the globe... Come to think of it, i cant. See to me bush has always been somewhat of a trusted figure in my head. That is no doubt a product of the propiganda. Bush with his faith baised welfair system, and constant untruths has started to look rather raunchy ill admitt, and to give my sincerest appology to all whom ive doubted, you were right, bush sucks. Can you blame me, im learning...

Most would say, progress...

J

Toy Story 3 / Finding Nemo 2 in the works...

But Pixar aint make'n em. It's a dam shame. A DAAAM Shame.

Click Me Sucka

(I know this isn't very exciting but I was sick of see'n tal-head all over this blog)

Nemo, India's Ready

Great Song

I had never heard of Citizen Cope before, but this is a great song, and his last album sounds fantastic too...

Click the itunes button, if you don't have itunes, you suck.

The sound of memories

It is a crisp fall-ish day here on the westside of the country. I am the first one in the office this morning, and ringing through the thick, double pained glass is the sweet sound of someone's club pressing against their horn.

Ah, memories of kurt's little red mazda.

Can there be a better afternoon?

San Francisco is amazing.

I don't love Dave Matthews, like a lot of post-college year 20 somethingers. I mean, he is extremely skilled at playing and I like his music playing in the background but it is not my average cup of tea.

REGARDLESS.. can there be a better afternoon, than sitting in 68 degree weather, in your apartment, with your windows open, sketching in a fresh sketchbook in san francisco? Wait, more... Sitting in a bay window, over your right shoulder, a view of the golden gate bridge... over your left shoulder a breeze brings the sound of the dave matthews concert happening in golden gate park 5 blocks away from your house? I submit that there cannot!

I love san francisco, I just wish I could afford to buy a real place here.

fantastic.

Crokinole

About two years ago my mom mailed me this crazy board game that looks people play on a cruise through the florida keys or something:

Anyway, a few weeks ago my buddy Loren made me realize how insane I was for not playing something as inherently fantastic as this shuffleboard based geriatric game! It has become an addiction and I encourage everyone to read the history on this fantastic device, buy it for their friends and fiend away!

Mattrosexual

See matt, you finally get the credit you deserve:

Mattrosexual

Matt's music is online!

AHA, all those years in college, my buddy matt was in his room tinkering with electronic music, not wanting to show anyone his work. Well after 8 years of sitting in the back of a drawer somewhere, he (or his girlfriend) decided to dust off his dat tapes and drop his music online! He didn't even mail me, I just found the link off his webpage... and since he didn't tell me not to mail it out... I am going to post it here:

http://www.agrodesign.com/music.htm

Soft Core Instant Messaging

laughing so hard. this perve is funny! my roommate sent this to me....no idea where she found it. read on...

http://www.livejournal.com/users/quiztress/14276.html

addendum: i'd only read the first few when i posted this. the ones in the middle get kinda pervy. don't want you all to think i'm into internet porn. i feel like they are 16 year olds who can't go out so they waste time in chatrooms. these people are ridiculous and this guy is making fun of them... so i laugh.

Holdenesque

I got blood taken today, wow, what a procedure. Ive never found something more facinating than watching your own life juice flow out of you into a bottle, it BLEW my mind... No that doesnt mean im gonna go cutting myself to see the blood, though i can understand now why people do :P. It was a chinease guy that did it... The whole thing took 5 min, pretty routine. I walked in the room and it had that sort of usual doctor vibe, the uneasy musk that acompanies the health facilities around the globe. to the right there was a chair, sort of a frankenstien looking thing, it felt cool to sit in. To the left there were an assortment of doctor things all of which, of cource, meant absoulty nothing to me... There were stickers marked STAT, i wanted to take one but i thought id be found out so i withheald. I wonder who needs those stickers though, pry someone sick. So anyways, the chinease guy comes in and wipes out an 8 foot long nedle and sticks it in me. It didnt hurt at all to my amazement. Ohh then the sweetnes started, i couldnt feel it, all i could do was see the thick nliky like liquid poor out. I remember saying to myself "blooooooooooooddddddd," just like that. When he was done he gave me cotten to put on the gaping wound the needle left and tossed me a bandaid. Its really something to get up after something like that. Again its another generic doctor feeling. Right when you get up out of the chair or get up out of bed you feel like youve won. Now because my exeperiances are limited i wouldnt be able to say with any certainty that a cancer paitent who just got diagnosed feels the same but i "think" no matter what that winning feeling prevails. Walking out of the room, i felt refreashed and educated in the ways of bloodsucking. When i told the story to my diabedic girl friend she nearly puked... uhhhh DIABEDIC, needles, blood testing! go fig

|J|

This is no Urban Legend

Another amazingly bizarre tale of vehicular homicide. This happened really close to where I live. I just don't know how drunk you have to be to not realize your friend was decapitated on the ride home.

http://www.thewbalchannel.com/news/3698693/detail.html