Talblog

Geek out with your mice out

This sucker was just delivered to my office only moments ago. I bought it on friday, recieved it today and paid for snail mail through dell.com. Man dell rules sometimes. Also got it for a great price, 35% off last week through those secret dell coupons. If tonight wasn't halloween i'd be in heaven instaling it. Just thought i'd share my geek'ness with ya, don't mind me. World of Warcraft here I come!

happy Halloweeen

the most frightening part about this photo is that someone ELSE had to paint that on. that's love...or they lost a bet.

Budweiser pulling "Water" drinking game

WTF is wrong with this country.

Full Article

Anheuser-Busch Cos. Inc. said it will quit marketing a drinking game called "Bud Pong" after discovering that some people were imbibing beer during the game instead of water, as directions specified.

The nation's biggest brewer rolled out "Bud Pong" in July, sending kits to beer wholesalers in 18 states. The bar game is played by bouncing ping pong balls into cups of liquid, with participants taking a drink if they lose a point. Anheuser-Busch suggested players fill the cups with water. A New York Times article Sunday described players using beer instead.

"It has come to our attention that despite our explicit guidelines, there may have been instances where this promotion was not carried out in the manner it was intended," Anheuser-Busch spokeswoman Francine I. Katz said in a statement Tuesday.

While it might seem odd for a brewery to market a water-drinking game, Katz said in an e-mail statement that Anheuser-Busch attached its name to "Bud Pong" in the same fashion the company sponsors NASCAR races or Major League Baseball games.

"The intent of this program was to provide adults who socialize in bars with a fun activity," Katz said in a statement. The company said it was pulling the promotion, and did not want perceptions of the "Bud Pong" game to conflict with a $500 million campaign to promote responsible drinking, Katz said.

google this

Failure and then click "I feel lucky"

couple of things

I only find it acceptable to dress up animals on halloween, therefore this is allowed to be one of the cutest photos ever. Dressed as "the great pumpkin" we have Milo, my friend Emilie's pug. ain't he a stinker!

secondly, allow me to rant for a moment: i'm really sick of homeless people. i mean, the gov't really needs to come up with a better way to get them off the streets, b/c their impoverished asses are screwing up my commute. for those of you who live in suburbia and don't have to deal with street walkers on a daily basis, let me fill you in a lil somethin'. homeless people like to f*ck you up...

...especially the crazies in santa monica/venice. CDOT put cross walks in the middle of major roads, where pedestrians have the right of way at any time. Most people understand they're impeding traffic and try to cross quickly. Well not the "less fortunate." Instead of walking like a normal person and using the limbs that God gave them, our homeless (heretofore referred to as "they") prefer to mosey, strut, or saunter across any major road, at any given time.

They're tricky. Why, you ask?

Because they begin to cross at a normal pace, UNTIL they see you in your car. waiting. In that instance they slow to a brain frying crawl. Sometimes they'll accompany this with a few unintelligle outbursts or point and shout or just glare and pick their asses.

One can see it in their crazy, dirty eyes. They delight in viewing how many cars have piled up beside them; disrupting traffic flows, inciting honks and frustrated glances. In those moments, they're stickin it to the man. The same man who dropped them through the systematic cracks and potholes of society. They're just hoping and praying that an impatient and right-fully irritated yuppie will break through and run them down with their SUV. *cha-ching* - booze n crack for life.

But it rarely happens...we wait, curse them, and move on. their actions don't encourage us to help them, instead it makes us turn against them. they are not for OUR cause of "getting somewhere on time," why should we be a part of theirs, "surviving?" (healthy attitude, right?)

The day a 90 year old woman in a busted wheel chair carted herself out in the middle of the road was the last straw. she wasn't even in a cross walk...just the middle of Lincoln Boulevard, 30 feet away from an intersection. She rolled down the sidewalk and flinstoned her way across four lanes of traffic. took her a solid five minutes and two full light cycles. ?!?!?!?! are you kidding me, where is her case worker ?!??!??

Who do they think they are? We have rules for a reason. i follow them, they should too. now i was dangerously close to becoming one of them this summer, but rose above and a got a job. so i know they can do it too. none of this "victim of the system" crap.

Alas, I am not completely heartless. In a humanitarian effort to rival that of Angelina Jolie (and to transfer this sect off the streets for atleast one day), i have donated generously to the LA Mission's Thanksgiving Dinner program. b/c of me 25 less fortunate people will have a delightful turkey and watery potato dinner on November 24th. *pat on the back*

In the Mission's mailer they provided "meal tickets" where you could write your name, informing each recipient of the generous person that provided their holiday dinner. mine looked a lil something like this...

This Meal Brought To You By:

"cross the street faster"

Yep.

Thursday!

OH I can't wait for thursday! and then monday!

Against me at Slims!

Rocket from the Crypt LAST SHOW in San Diego!

Yessss!

Happy Halloween!

So we went to a friend's Halloween BBQ. Much food was ingested, lots o' alcohol imbibed and pumpkin guts everywhere...hopefully we'll get the pix up soon.

ebay

have you guys seen this eBay gem yet??? sorry, but they've already been sold.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=8335653541#description

the Q&A at the bottom is particularly humorous

.

I/O Brush

check this
I'd be afraid to give this to Jer.
What parts of his body would he point it at?
Makes me shudder.....

Kraft Foods and Chevy Cars

My company just posted two the the commericials I worked on over the summer on their website... One is a crazy german chocolate commercial, and one is a Chevy car commercial... check 'em:

Crazy German Chocolate

Chevy Impala

Gettin Lei'd in Hawaii

Hi guys,

Yup, we're back in town now. Thanks for all the grand wishes. I should have some photos posted soon. Can't wait to see you!!

Sushi

Oh man

Our friend Jenna had her dad in town, who makes sushi. It was amazing... 5 kinds of rolls, along with plain tuna and salmon sushi. He also built some handrolls cones for some people. I stuffed myself with free fresh sushi until I almost popped. We have pictures, which I will post when I get them.

Spicy Tuna Rolls
Eel and Avocado Rolls
BBQ Eel Roll
California Roll
Scallop Roll

All fresh as the sea. California can be good sometimes.

Finally

I have been wanting to post this one for a while now

It is some guy prank IM'ing, Its an oldie, but Brett and I have been trying to dig it up for a while now... so good.

------------------------------------------

bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey...
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of ****.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
bloodninja: Baby?

----------------------------

bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.
j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass.
j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
j_gurli3: thats it.
bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now.

--------------------------------------------

BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something

----------------------------------

Bloodninja: I lick your earlobe, and undo your watch.
Sarah19fca: mmmm, okay.
Bloodninja: I take yo pants off, grunting like a troll.
Sarah19fca: Yeah I like it rough.
Bloodninja: I smack you thick booty.
Sarah19fca: Oh yeah, that feels good.
Bloodninja: Smack, Smack, yeeeaahhh.
Bloodninja: I make some toast and eat it off your ass. Land O' Lakes butter all in your crack. Mmmm.
Sarah19fca: you like that?
Bloodninja: I peel some bananas.
Sarah19fca: Oh, what are you gonna do with those?
Bloodninja: get me peanuts. Peanuts from the ballpark.
Sarah19fca: Peanuts?
Bloodninja: Ken Griffey Jr. Yeaaaaahhh.
Sarah19fca: What are you talking about?
Bloodninja: I'm spent, I jump down into the alley and smoke a fatty. I throw rocks at the cats.
Sarah19fca: This is stupid.
Bloodninja: Stone Cold Steve Austin gives me some beer.
Bloodninja: Wanna Wrestle Stone Cold?
Bloodninja: Yeeaahhhh.
Sarah19fca: /ignore
Bloodninja: Its cool stone cold she was a b1tch anyway.
Bloodninja: We get on harleys and ride into the sunset.

--------------------------------

Partner6: So you're really a 18 yr old girl right?
J-Dogg: Yeah, J for Julie.
Partner6: So whats with the "Dogg"
J-Dogg: Uh, It's cause I'm into the latina gangs and sh1t. You know, rollin with tha homies and sh1t.
Partner6: Oh, uh ok thats cool. So you ever seen a gun?
J-Dogg: Yeah like I got 6 guns.
Partner6: Thats cool, so you wanna see my gun?
J-Dogg: hehe, of course baby.
Partner6: I pull off my pants and show you my "gun".
J-Dogg: Ohh, it's so big.
Partner6: Yeah, what you want to do?
J-Dogg: Umm, i guess stroke it or something.
Partner6: It likes that.
J-Dogg: aight.
Partner6: Keep talking to me baby...
J-Dogg: I kiss you on the mouth, hard, but then gently.
Partner6: Mmmm, daddy like.
J-Dogg: I unzip my pants...
Partner6: Yes, show me what you got.
J-Dogg: I pull out my schlong, and rub it on your breasts...
Partner6: WTF?!
J-Dogg: Oh sh1t, I meant, your schlong! your schlong!
Partner6: I've had it with you queers trying to cyber me, I only f*ck women...
J-Dogg: Shit just don't shoot me man, I wasn't serious about the guns I have, I'm unarmed!
Partner6: You queer.
J-Dogg: I whimper to myself...
J-Dogg: please don't shoot me Mr.

Nekkid Celebrity

I got to meet "Bullseye" the official Target mascot on the Yahoo! campus yesterday. He was pretty stoic for a pitbull. I just get all kinds of perks at this company.

Tales of Erotica: Chuck Norris and Me.

Everyone loves getting turned on. Everyone loves high-kicking martial-arts action.....

So I'm going to recount for you the very first heavy-petting session I engaged in with my first girlfriend when I was 16. But because I'm not sure that this girlfriend would appreciate me sharing these events, instead of using her real name, I'm going to refer to her as action star Chuck Norris. Likewise, any personal details about my ex-girlfriend that might implicate her directly will be changed to indicate achievements earned by Mr. Norris.

For example, instead of referring to Madeline as a junior-varsity-basketball cheerleader, I will refer to her as an international karate champion. And when I say "star of TV's Walker: Texas Ranger" I'll really mean "supporting cast member in a 1996 high-school production of Jesus Christ: Superstar."

Any references to sexual activities we engaged in will be disguised as martial-arts maneuvers or maybe wrestling holds. I won't say Maddie was the first girl I ever French-kissed, I'll say something to the effect of, "Chuck Norris kicked me so hard in the mouth I had to have my jaw wired shut."

When mentioning details that still embarrass me, I will go on and on with analogies that—if you really think about them—make sense, but are pretty difficult to follow. I won't sheepishly admit that even at 15 she was more experienced than I was. I'll ask you to imagine a younger Chuck Norris, not yet a master of his art, but perhaps an intermediate student, leading one of the newer karate students in basic "block, step, kick" exercises during the warm-up time before class, while the teacher is stretching. I won't tell you that before that afternoon on my parents' couch I had kissed only one other girl—awkwardly—on the cheek, and was quickly, but gently rebuffed. Instead, I'll casually share an anecdote about the time I sparred with Steven Seagal, who let me take a couple swings at him, but quickly got bored, and didn't even waste the energy it would take to break a few of my bones.

The thing about Chuck Norris is that he is not the least bit pretentious. He is not without moments of gracelessness—sometimes overextending a kick, or putting too much of his upper body behind a punch. His form is not nearly as fun to watch as Jet Li's exhausting acrobatics, and it is not quite as pretty as the phony grace of Jean-Claude Van Damme, whose elegance belies technique that is beautiful to look at but entirely useless in a real combat situation. More than anything, Chuck Norris is effective, and he is not self-conscious. I, on the other hand, was deathly afraid of getting a hickey.

I ran into Chuck three years after we stopped fighting regularly. We were both home from our respective colleges during a holiday break. We went to a movie one night, out to coffee another. Finally, the night before I was to return to school, our mutual animosity got the best of us and a fight broke out in the guest bedroom of my parents' house, where we had been watching Saturday Night Live. We had both trained hard in the previous years and were eager to demonstrate the new moves we had learned. In our eagerness, of course, we disregarded technique and the bout quickly turned into a brawl, our limbs flailing wildly, a mess. In this way, this battle was much like our first, but not nearly as sweet.

Afterward, I walked Chuck out to his car, feeling defeated. I leaned in close to the star of the box-office flop Firewalker and asked if he was sure that this was OK. He smiled at me tenderly, placed a hand on my cheek—a hand that had smashed pine boards and bricks, had shattered giant blocks of ice—and then he leapt into the air and delivered a devastating flying roundhouse kick to my skull.

by
BRIAN BIEBER

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2004/11/22bieber.html

Meet Jack...

Who ever edited this is brilliant.

http://www.ifilm.com/player/?ifilmId=2681360&pg=default&skin=default&refsite=default&mediaSize=default&context=product&launchVal=1&data=null&realId=2681360&bw=300&mt=REAL

Hopefully you can all see it.

Too many Jeremie Heads around here...

I can never decide what to even talk about on this here Talblog but I guess the only big thing thats going on with me that I'd care to share on this here internet is that I'm moving. Moving into a 1 bedroom apartment by myself that is. Goodbye roommates, goodbye other peoples messes, goodbye other people whom I don't really know or care about shit'n in my bathroom, and most importantly goodbye construction (the building right next to mine currently was knocked down and i have had construction starting at 7am monday through sat. for that last 3-4 months and it's not gonna be stopping for another few years.) So now I have the daunting task of figuring out how to properly furnish my place, figuring out ALL the things I'm gonna need to do once I get there. PGE, Phone, etc. Nothing that I can't handle, just lots of stupid little things here and there which adds up to feeling stressed over little stuff. My mommy is coming out to visit me in a week when i move in because for some reason she miss's me and wants to help me out with my new place (i think she just miss's being motherly now that I'm such a big boy).

It's gonna be nice I can tell already, I really don't have that much stuff because for those of you who don't know me I pretty much just live in my bedroom and kitchen. My roommate is the one who spends most of his time in our living room. So basically everything in the living room now is his. The only thing I really gotta figure out is how to make my pink bathroom (yep, it came with a pink bathroom)....more manly. Black shower curtain with skulls or something is what I'm thinking. I dunno. I hope the place is as good as I remember it. I vaguely remember walking through the entire apt. when I checked it out. I just remember feeling like it was a lot better than some of the places I had been checking out and I was sick of looking at places all week long only to be dissappointed that the places were so crappy and were still ridicuilously overpriced. CURSE YOU CITY LIVING!!! Anyways, new chapter in the ol' brett book. Yay for me.

PS. It's retarded how hard it is to find a decent place to live in the city for a 'reasonable' price range.

PSS. I moved one block away from Loren and Kelly as well! Which is pretty cool if i do say so myself. Now we can get silly and drunk and play videogames and such and just walk home.

Matt is Getting Married Today

Yeah, Matt and Katie Agro. Today, None of us is there. I want to say I understand, but dangit man, he is getting married!

Here's to you matt... you are getting laid tonight FOR SURE!