Talblog

DON'T invite me to your wedding

or else you might end up with photos like this.....

yes, that's me, hanging on the father of the bride and rockin' out with the bride. i'm sure we were shakin our moneymakers to some appropriately cheesy tune that our stellar DJ lined up just for us. it was awesome.

please note, that i did NOT post the photo of me blowing the "bon voyage" bubbles on the dancefloor. seems innocent enough, right? well i had wedged the little bubble container in my cleavage and was aiming the bubbles at the little kids on the dance floor, who then tried to catch them with their mouths. so it appeared as though they were catching bubbles from my boobs....bubbles from heaven, i suppose. please note, i had to "hold" the container in my top b/c i couldn't hold that, the bubble wand and my wine otherwise.

i am officially the trashy, drunk, single friend. please don't stop me when i answer some "marriage for citizenship" postings on craigslist .

Pow, right in the kissa

PTA meetings can get uuuugly

RSVP

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROCCO!!!! this gem was taken during rocco's "earl" facial hair phase...yes this is the same Emmy Award winning genius you all know and love, but with bad hair.

mysuck.com

i just like to incite myspace hate commentary.....aaaaaaaaaaaaand go!

PC, get outta here

Rocco and I hosted a kick-ass Easter dinner this past Sunday. A dinner where political correctness had absolutely no place...here are a couple of highlights that you all would enjoy.

We, of course, got everything (brisket, lamb shanks, a million appetizers…) from Costco. I went to three different stores, just to find the perfect easter lilly, and then almost snapped it in half three times. The roaster was overflowing with beef…like a blessed meat present. Downside - neither of us knew how to cook a brisket...and isn't that a passover thing, not easter? Oops.

Three of Rocco’s friends arrived first, one of whom, I hadn’t seen in a long time. The first thing I noticed was how he’s a lot thinner than before…so after about five minutes I asked if he was manorexic. Everyone seemed to think this was the rudest comment ever made in the history of social faux pas. hey i thought we were all friends here?!? I think I got unjustly berated for noticing his sunken cheekbones. Alas, note to self: you’re rude.

My point: accept my backhanded compliment gracefully. If someone called me manorexic, well, anorexic in my case, I would smile, probably hug them and continue eating my celery stick. Sadly, my restraint when it comes to food is merely to choose the “light” sour cream instead of full fat.

The Meal – God bless us AND our offensive comments.

Dinner-time conversation ranged from marsupials to milk-fat to manorexics. The height of our informative discussions came when mark (our fellow blogger) flippantly remarked, “yeah, I’m an anti-semite.” Everyone just nodded their heads agreeably, as if he had described something simple, like the color of his hair. .... . which is salt n pepper. (with more pepper than salt tho).

About a minute later, my curiosity consumed me and I blurted out ... “isn’t an anti-semite someone who hates jews??” an anxious hush fell over the crowd as everyone consulted their mental dictionaries. matter-of-factness quickly turned to horror as the weight of the statement sunk in ... mark then eloquently retracted his bold statement, “oooh, yeaaah, I meant….” and declared his love for all jews (or something like that). I’m pretty sure rocco’s neighbors at the other end of the table uttered a huge sigh of relief - i couldn't quite tell b/c i was laughing so hard. it was the most "jessica simpson moment" i've ever witnessed - and i cherish it.

We then clarified that Mark was in fact, AGNOSTIC…not a hater of Jesus’ people. just to be sure, today i signed him up for the palestinian newsletter. he may be a supporter of their cause afterall.

Long story short, I made my first successful Brisket and sauce – for 9 people. And no one had food poisoning! (that I know of)

Dessert – Are you washing your ice cream?

I walked in on this conversation between mark and lara…..

“bet you haven’t ever seen anyone wash ice cream before.”
“bet you haven’t ever HAD to wash ice cream before.”

I also made blueberry pudding cake and a chocolate pudding pie for dessert…while trying to scoop some ice cream onto his slice of bberry cake, the agnostic overshot his plate and lobbed his scoop of neopolitan onto a greasy plate holding the final lamb shank.

Instead of calling the loss, he slid the scoop off of the meat sludge, ran it under the faucet and ate it. I would like for everyone to please note the new Easter tradition; Jesus died and was buried. on the third day he rose again, for the customary ice cream dip in the lamb sauce. Amen.

After gorging we all relaxed by the bonfire w/ more wine in rocco’s backyard….i would go so far as to say it was better than thanksgiving…only b/c everyone wasn’t so grotesquely full…..ie Jeremie’s annual wails of pain and bloatation.

and that, my friends, was Easter 2006.

So becky has some friends

I guess Becky isn't the only one who hates cilantro, nor is she the only one who thinks it taste like soap. She cheered when she saw this site. I fucking love cilantro, and I want to smother it all over my body. Imagine a burrito without cilantro? It would be crap.

www.ihatecilantro.com

message from the easter bunny

i know you all hate myspace....as do i, but thought you might be able to enjoy this.

happy easter!!!!

the easter bunny hates you

Back home - BS free & training

Ahh yes, home sweet home.

Once i discovered I wasnt in Kansas anymore with those roomate i just HAD to leave. Summer on the brink, it wasnt too much of a hassle as i was planning to move at the end of the month anyways. Everyone paid me after i sent them each the "My money" video posed a few months ago on this site... I suppose all is well, but the psycho girl vowed to visit me, i told her just to mail. -- freak

Anyways,

Ive started training again. I took a bit of a break because of papers and all the hell that comes from that time of the year. I thought i would post the supliments and vitamins im using so if any of you weaklings AHEM JER AHEM want to pick some things up youd have a good stack of SAFE, non crappy things that will MAKE results.

Whey protien - or if that hasnt worked for you in the past, Whey protien isolate.
-Dont get it confussed with a mass gaining nonsence supliment that will only make you fat unless you work out like a german bodybuilder from 12 - 12. Protien is muscle fuel baby! twice a day keeps that fat ass away.

Glutamine - a fantastic little powder that makes your ATP (alpha triphosphate) flow to your cells better. Its naturaly produced in your body for a number of other things including your immune system. This stuff wont only keep you from getting sick, it will fix you up for faster recovery between sets and after a workout.

Thermogenic - for cutting, basicly speeds up your heart and therefore increases core temp to help burn fat. Do some research to see if this one is good for you or not.

Vitamin C - increases fat lost by near 35% during exercise if taken regularly at a 500mg dose. damn right! - and one of the better TASTING vitamins

A GOOOOOD multi - most multi's suck, i take the GNC brand it works well.

thats all im taking right now. I CANT STAND taking like 12 differant things a day , and if i cant pronounce it, its not going in me. Im sure some of you are saying - loser, i dont need none of that sh==. Well, hear this: Ever since ive been using this stuff, id have massive STEADY gains, and ive had more energy than ever.

Justin

Charlotte's Teaser

They just posted a teaser of charlotte's online. I don't know if it is a legit site, but you can see stuff. I got a chance to work on the crows... There are a couple of crow shots in the trailer... And the studio also did work on the rat (templeton)

take a look:

Link To Trailer

Programmable Beverages

You use the buttons to customize your beverage experience...craziness.

Taken from "yenra.com":
Ipifini's Programmable Liquid Container technology employs buttons on the container's surface that release additives (flavors, colors, fragrances) into the liquid. Additive buttons allow for the consumer to choose variations of the liquid in the container at the point of consumption. For example, a programmable cola bottle with buttons for lemon, lime, vanilla, and cherry flavors as well as a caffeine button allows for thirty-two potential choices of soda. A programmable paint container with twenty pigment additive buttons allows the consumer to choose from one million colors.

"Providing choice at the point of consumption creates tremendous advantages for the consumers as well as the manufacturer," noted co-inventor Glenn Wachler.

Ipifini founder Dr. Tod Woolf said that "virtually everyone who has seen our Programmable Liquid Container technology is fascinated and excited by its usefulness and consumer appeal."

Consumer demand for variety within a product line has generated a proliferation of products with different additives. Choice-Enabled Packaging is applicable to any liquid product with multiple varieties. This technology simplifies manufacturing, distribution, promotion and sales by allowing a single container to replace a series of product varieties. The technology also allows consumers to select their desired variation at time of use.

Ipifini is licensing the technology to leading beverage, food, personal care, paint and pharmaceutical companies.

Rats, Bunnies, Etc

Some articles are coming out for shaggy dog... a kids movie I worked on for a little while last year. I "rigged" bunnies, rats, a bullfrog/dog thing, and some other stuff. Here is a photo, click it if you want to read the article

work work work

amid my company's drastic restructuring or "trimming the fat" as i like to call it. i have lately found myself bored at work. not b/c i have no work, but probably b/c just about all of my friends i made in the last six months no longer work there. clearly i was hangin out with the wrong crowd. during my day, in the few moments i'm not juggling three schedules or completing dire admin tasks, i find myself toggling between talblog and bankofamerica.com. clearly i suck at surfing the internet....sadly, i still don't have a hold on my crap spending habits, nor are there enough people commenting on this site.... so i feel it's my duty to add a couple of random thoughts.

on my commute yesterday morning i begrudingly got stuck behind a white car ( i hate white vehicles of any sort ) with a bumper sticker declaring, I [HEART] CALIFORNIA PISTACHIOS. of all the bumper stickers in the world, this joker chose pistachios as his message. it wasn't even on his bumper...he put it smack dab in the middle of the rear view window. i'm thinking, #1, that's gotta be illegal. #2, is he a pistachio farmer...perhaps trying to weasel a tax break on his ride, 'cause he's using it for marketing purposes. random, yes....but that was my momentary thought b4 kevin & bean pulled me back into their rant over how dried up sharon stone is. end thought.

i have met someone truly perplexing, and not necessasrily in a good way (he's one of my coworkers). i mean, i live in LA, so it's only natural to encounter a phenomenal amount of losers and weirdos. but i'm intrigued by this one and i just keep wondering how much weirder he will get. i won't bore you with details, but one of the latest developments is that he eats "goat's whey" supplements, among many others. now, what in the fuck is goat's whey, and why on earth is it a brilliant idea to add it to one's daily diet? he also shuns dairy products and sugars. huh? i didn't think that was too odd until i realized cheese was a dairy product. **NO CHEESE** ... at all - that's practically a deal breaker.

also, he doesn't drink (which shouldn't matter at all) -- but claims not to be part of a 12 step program (a clear deal breaker). and finally...sit down for this one...he doesn't own a television, and hasn't for quite some time. (*clang of hammer pounding final nail into coffin*). does he hang out w/ ted kazinski and write letters?? what about Grey's Anatomy? does he even know who shot JR?!? oddly, granola boy's style is very trendy, so i don't know what to make of it. it would be like justin timberlake going berkeley. if only i were in the market for a good algae vitamin. end thought.

and finally, as some of you may know, last week becky's and my grandma was diagnosed with not only lung cancer but also breast cancer - maybe has 5 months left. ouch. but i keep asking myself, "what the hell did she do to piss off God?" seriously. as if one wasn't bad enough, the big guy threw another olive in the acid martini. sucks. in case you're keeping score at home, cancer - 3, bochatey genetics - 0. maybe i do need goat's whey. end thought.

levity