Talblog

I'm Thinking

I am thinking It might be a good weekend to go to the BEER GARDEN on saturday. Who's with me?

dear talblog

dear talblog,

i've missed you. it's been a long time since i've posted regularly and i mainly blame my possessive job. he's always asking me to stay over at his place all day and is always calling me up and sending me emails on my blackberry. he doesn't like to leave me alone so i don't find much time to write to you. luckily, i've decided to stay up late tonight so we can catch up on a few things. i'll probably be tired tomorrow which means job will be mad at me. i'll just stick around a few hours later and make up for it.

where or where do i begin? i'll just pick a few choice highlights from the last few months.

yesterday at work i kept smelling patchouli. it was driving me fucking nuts. i don't have or wear patchouli, so i can't understand where it was was coming from. it reminded me of opening an old drawer or box of my mom's. a somewhat comforting scent, but undeniably obnoxious and headache-inducing. i kept doing the sniff test all around my desk....like trying to find the kid in daycare who just shat its pants. i finally gave up, convinced that my coworkers were calling me a dirty hippie behind my back. never found the source. today it was gone. go figure.

ANTS. it's swarm season here in southern california and bess and i have ants in our apartment. more specifically, ants in our major appliances. lucky for us, we got the stupidest breed of ant that exists on this earth. somehow, someway, they have crossed the barren deserts and climbed the highest hillside to settle in our freezer. CRAZY you say, why would they do that? I. DON'T. KNOW.

one day i opened the fridge and saw two or three scavenger ants that had tested out the frigidair arctic tundra and succumbed to their frozen fate. i laughed at them while a couple of their friends scampered around the perimeter; and i thought nothing of it. "it's far too cold for those things to even THINK about going in any furthur. right. five days later it's arctic-darfur. HUNDREDS of little carcasses are strewn ALL over the freezer in various states of demise. actually no, just one state....frozen to death. all curled up and pitiful....on my pizzas and budget gourmets. GROSS.

on the perimeter some are smooshed flat, just a shadowy ant silhouhette, complete with horrified expressions. perplexing, as i have no clue how that's happening. it's so sick and the last thing i can bear to do is clean out the entire freezer and start over, especially since our fridge is such a POS. bess always knows when i'm in the kitchen b/c all she hears is, "AAAAAAARGH FUHCKING GROSS!" it's a new daily pattern, i open up the freezer door, lose my appetite then slam the door shut again....haha, oooooh. waaaait a minute -- that's how they're getting smooshed! haha. geniOus. (these damn blond highlights are getting to me.) the exterminator is supposedly coming tomorrow. i hope with a new fridge. and pizzas.

FUNERAL w/ a twist. this summer i went to my first funeral. it was weird and sad and pretty surreal. the guy who died was a close friend of my bosses. he wasn't actually a coworker, but was always at my office hanging out with the guys. he was the absolute nicest man ever and would always lighten the mood whenever things were particularly stressful. he was diagnosed with kidney/liver cancer about a year ago and ten months later he died. the whole situation was really sad. he finally gave up the fight a couple of days after his 52nd birthday.

(this brings up an interesting factoid. it turns out that a high percentage of men tend to die on or around their birthday or a major event. like they strive just to see that day, then check out).

so i decided to go to the funeral/burial. after the packed church service, my CFO boss, Mary Ann, and i took a shortcut to the cemetary rather than getting stuck in all the church traffic. this brilliant shortcut included getting on the highway (accidently speeding past the procession)...this was the point when our "FUNERAL" tag flew off the windshield and hit the semi-truck behind us at 70mph. whoops.

now, you need to know that the CEO of my company (who is my other boss) is very fancy. he and his siblings all created lots of wealth, have wealthy, influential friends and remind my mother of the mafia. i finally started to see her point amid all of the handshakes and condolensces to and from throngs of designer-clad businessmen. amidst the grieving family, i searched the horizon for FBI agents, telephoto lenses and tony soprano. just to be safe, i kept my sunglasses on and hid behind people.

as the funeral crowd began dispersing, i looked up to see Andy Garcia (actor/producer/activist) standing before me. before i could run away he had given me a hug, a cultural-respect kiss on the cheek and said "good to see you again." i was stunned. right. um. we've never actually met. you really have no idea who i am, but thanks. yeah. good to see you too mr. garcia! i assume not all funerals are like that one. (other than the sad part).

that's not nearly all i could write, but i'm tired and who knows if you even made it to the end of this rant (i hope so bitches). to end on a high note, you all should know that i think a possum is either fighting with or possibly eating one of the courtyard cats....right outside my window. just great! we've got plenty more.

oooh right, end on a high note. i mean, i had an english muffin for breakfast yesterday with becky and jeremie's strawberry jam on it. DELISH! you guys should make some more...but raspberry this time! you know where to send it.

FOX Clinton Interview

FOX Clinton Interview transcript.

The actual interview is on the FOX site.

I find it fascinating how articulate and educated this man is compared to others.

Addendum:
Here is Keith Olbermann's rebuttal to the Republican's attack on Clinton.
Olbermann's special commentary on Clinton vs Fox

Damn this guy is brutal. I am amazed at how vicious his commentary is.
I mean, bravo but wow. I'm wondering why no one is even trying to reel
him back just a little bit so he doesn't come across as a raving
leftist. No producers, no editors, no one? I get the whole Edward R
Murrow thing but wow. Thats a lot of vitriol.

Things that make you go HMMM

The newest Toronto Longboarder. I have yet to attend a meeting, but im hopeful for the future. Suggestion: Buy a longboard
http://www.torontolongboarders.com
http://www.sector9.com

striped shirt reborn

brett, you owe me.

i feel like crushing one right now

new friend

New kitty - Jasper

I love John Travolta

Guess who is filming down the block where I live!!!!
eeeeeee! (that's me screaming like a little girl)
Johnny T is filming the remake of Hairspray. Bailey's friends saw him today on the way back from School. He was looking for me. Wants to have a cold Canadian brew and some good conversation
Kidding..Truth is i do think he's pretty cool only because he's a Pilot. I think he should dump the Boeing 707 and go back to the Lear jet. Anyway,
I looked up John Travolta and Hamilton and I got like 20 hits like this.
No privacy for the man, even up here.
Maybe there's a chance for me?(think the other guy is Brad Pitt?)

95 today

man, arizona is hot.

Panorama City

Uploaded a bunch of panoramas, check em out

The whole lot

All alone, 30 minutes from home

Unreal afternoon in san francisco today. No fog! We trekked over to angel island, and had lunch on a beach by ourselves. I can't believe this place is 30 minutes from home.

More here

Mu

The new John Mayer - Continuum is amazing. Its going to be that new CD I can't stop listening to. His voice.... I gots the vapors.

The new Timberlake on the other hand. Whatever. If the second track Sexyback wasn't used in this really hot iPorn I watched the other day I don't think I would have been that excited about it.

Has anyone heard the new Audioslave? I just listened to a few track on iTunes and... eh.. give or take it. Nothing as catchy as the first CD.

Info

First I wanted to say congrats to you Magro! Secondly, I wanted to say I remember the fannel color and the frizzy hair Jer ... very good memories! Thirdly?Thricely? yes that is definitely me in the chair Becka .. hee hee. And last but not least, I wanted to say that I start over at Asylum Effects on Monday the 18th til the end of the year.

cheers,
ml

Proof

Proof, I once had hair. Though this is the only photograph in which it looks reasonable. The rest of them made me look like I was wearing a dried out wig run through a vacuum cleaner. Shaving it is the way to go.

Going through Old Things

I have been digging through some old memorobilia the last few days. Partly because there is too much stuff in the apartment and it is time to purge, partly because I am feeling sentimental regarding the good ol' days in lieu of matt leaving town. Anyways, I suspect a bit of a scanning binge and will post some embarassing photos of many people. However, I found this one item that loren might particularly piss himself over... it is a circa 1985 back sized powell peralta jacket patch. I might frame it or something. Check it out:

It reminds me of good times with skate buddies from times long gone. Now if only I could find my "speed wheels santa cruz" shark 5` shark poster. Think Mom destroyed that one long ago though. Bummer.

I heart Psapp

Thanks to Rocco for Psapp - i LOVE it! So much so, that I deciphered the lyrics to the first song (I may have a few words off). I was curious...really. I'm exceptionally pissed that they already toured the U.S. though. Bastards. Come back!

I don't want to hide Missy's amazing post...so see the lyrics under "extended entry". There's an amazing use of the word "limpet" - not to be missed.

Hel-lo
Get out the abacus and count this
A funny story with a dark twist
The target’s so big that you can’t miss...me

Well come closer (??)
And every page I turn I want more
I never know the next thing in store
Cause you excite me like a locked door...does

Like a limpet
I want to take your voice and drink it
There doesn’t seem to be a limit
To all the things that I could do

I know how I want it to go
I know how I want it to be
Don’t make me think before I speak
Or make me hold my horses

Hold tight
We’re saddled up if you can ride right
If you just think it then you’ll be fine
Think it’s crass that it’s the right time, this time

For a fat swamp
We can visit for a fun romp
I really want to do the hi-jump
Takin a risk will do us all some good

I know how I want it to go
I know how I want it to be
Don’t make me think before I speak
Or make me hold my horses

I’ve got my eye on the prize/price
My beady eyes are alight
And though I don’t know what comes next
I will not hold my horses

Hel-lo
Get out the abacus and count me
A funny feeling says I won’t leave
The tug is so big that you can’t miss...me

I know how I want it to go
I know how I want it to be
Don’t make me think before I speak
Or make me hold my horses

I’ve got my eye on the prize/price
My beady eyes are alight
And though I don’t know what comes next
I will not hold my horses

I know what you’re thinking
I know how you see me
Although it hurts...a problem could be right/I probably could be right (??)

Romeo, part deux

Sometimes, I’m stupid.

A shock to read, I know. But it’s true. two weeks ago, I somehow roped myself into watching a family friend’s cat while she’s out of town. I won’t get into specifics as the mere thought of it raises my blood pressure and blurs my vision. Suffice it to say that I didn’t actually agree to do it, but there I was living out the remainder of a mediocre summer….in feline hell.

You may remember Romeo (aka Tubbs aka Fat Piece of Shit aka fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck youuuuu cat) from one of my first blogs when I moved out to LA nearly three years ago. Romeo is a spoiled lil fella, and he and I don’t necessarily see eye to eye. He is needy and whiny, to which I respond, “bitch, you’re a cat, what is wrong with you?” Since our first meeting, this rather unattractive calico has become absurdly, and i mean grotesquely, fat.

Watching him clutch his way up onto the couch is more painful than watching an adolescent Chris Farley climb rope in gym class, or John Goodman eat an entire thanksgiving dinner by himself. Every time Tubbs successfully made the “jump,” I would reward him with a, “good job fatty!” and then withhold his dinner. Yes, it's very clear that I just might be an absolutely terrible parent someday.

The story begins.

mid August when I ended a two week stint house sitting for Rocco and watching two dogs. No sooner had I turned over the keys and returned all dogs, did I have to drive over to Romeo’s home and tend to his every need, (read: feed, comb, pet, ignore). I have a problem with this particular situation because cats shouldn’t need babysitters. dump some food out, fill the water, leave town = nuf said.

Romeo is a brat. He is an indoor cat who has three dishes of food out at any given time. Two SEPARATE types of dry food and then a full can of fancy feast twice a day. He is obese. I actually feel bad for the thing….until it starts meowing. Not a cute lil meow, but more like an insipid alley cat in heat. And it sneers [at me] with its creepy yellow eyes. eyes that reflect nothing but resentment. *meooooowr, hiss, sneer*

I should have known.

I should have known something would go terribly wrong when the owner left the following voicemail for me,

“oooh hi Missy, thanks again for taking good care of my ‘lil’ romeo. I hope he doesn’t keep you up all night, like he does to me. and I get up too! Oh I just spoil him. Don’t forget to check his ears for wax, the cotton swabs are in the bathroom.”

I’m sorry what? I have to swab wax out of his ears??!? Up in the middle of the night?!?! Sweet Jesus.

the beast

I miss my bed.

For the first two days, I left the radio on for Tubbs, because I wasn’t around much. So when I returned to stay I tried to swap off the radio. But it was possessed. No matter what I pushed, the damn thing kept blaring KMOZART. Wtf - turn off you piece of shit! I finally ripped the cord out of the wall. Problem solved.

Then I couldn’t sleep. The unfamiliar bed was too small, there was no top sheet and I forgot my own pillow. This sucks. Two hours later, I jolt out of bed….Romeo’s owner had forgotten to turn off her air-raid siren (alarm clock). Now I ask you, WHO has their alarm set for 2:30 am? No matter what dial I turned or button I pushed, I could stop the screeching. Frantically, I ripped the battery out and threw the clock across the room. Silence. Thank God. Meooowr. Mreooooooowr. MEEEOOOOO…….fuck.

I hate you, you and YOU.

The week did not progress much better. Turns out, the trash truck arrives around 6am in the morning – twice a week. Apparently this refuse company actually punches through the walls to remove trash directly from the apartments. Either that or they were truly slamming the dumpster into the wall by MY FACE for no good reason. WHAM BAM BAM BAM BAM. BEEEP BEEEP BEEEEEEEEEP.

And there’s nothing quite like getting out of the shower and stepping directly on pellets of kitty litter, freshly kicked out of the container by Tubbs himself.

My back hurts.

Each night worsens. I sleep less, my back is twisted, patience is waning. Tubbs now sits in the doorway twice a night and sings to me. until I throw things at him (alarm clock is already lodged in the closet door). Three nights in a row, he’s jumped on the bed. The first night it startled me and I kicked him across the room. The other two times I pretended I was dead until he left. Not quite sure what tonight may bring.

I think the neighbor broke the TV. Took me a day to fix it…for nothin’. Turns out she only gets basic cable. No TiVo. No Project Runway. I feel like i'm in a prison camp. I give up.

The suction cup shower caddy conveniently dislodged itself from the tile wall during my stay. Contents exploded all over the bottom of the tub. Super.

Tidy Cat.

on day six I had to change the kitty litter. went something like this: grab garbage bag, man that friggin smells. damn cats. do i dump the whole thing? i guess so. what is leaking out the bottom? oh jesus oh F$%#$cKING gO$^#$^DDAMN @#$@ MOTHER OF GO@#%^$JES@#$US@#%@#FING@#% MOTHER OF @#%$@%#SHiT BALLS^#$^&#HELL#@$^#$^ GD^#$^#$^# FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU@$^#$^&&%$&%K. i will never do that again.

A sick joke.

the rest of my ten day babysitting venture was more of the same....on my final day there i gladly dumped out a final can of fancy feast, gave romeo a smack on the ass and bid him adieu. as a test of good will, i attempted to leave the radio on for him again. it was on rather low, as not to bother the neighbors, but as i walked out, no shit, the theme to PSYCHO screeched from the speakers. EEEE EEEEE EEEEEE EEEEEEE. i ripped the power cord from the wall (again), locked the door behind me and vowed to just say no in the future.

NO.

consider this video

here

Reasons For Matt

Here are 10 Reasons why matt should move to Arizona, and 10 reasons why he shouldn't.

Reasons Why:

1) Because it is the new "Hub of West Coast Design"
2) So little agro's will have room to spread their wings
3) So he has a real reason to post some shit on talblog
4) Because Agave is the new Pinot Noir
5) Because his mountain biking skills have outgrown Mt. Tamalpais
6) I can't think of a six.
7) Because Matt loves to sun bathe in 110 degree weather
8) Because he was never really all that good at snowboarding anyway
9) Because california is just to god damn annoying sometimes
10) http://phoenix.craigslist.org/apa/203875327.html

10 Reasons why he shouldn't go

1) Because they live about 6 blocks from us and I didn't see them enough as it is
2) Because AZ doesn't have a jeremie
3) Because he won't be able to roll up to tahoe in the a3
4) Because I won't be able to force him to go to any more shows
5) Because Jeremie won't get his new music unless Matt posts his favorites to talblog
6) Because there are no cool bridges.
7) Because Becky and I want free Pilates lessons from Katie
8) Because I am codependant
9) Because arizona has got to be boring. I mean seriously.
10) Because we will miss them.

A PSA

Every year thousands of innocent people are harmed by the careless slaughter of hundreds of BAD TV viewing hours. I feel that it is my moral, NO, my CIVIC duty to inform the masses of upcoming Fall 2006 season.

Fall 2006 TV Schedule

Please note there is some controversy about the order of 30 Rock and 20 Good years.

My Vacation by Rocco Passionino

My Vacation by Rocco Passionino
This weekend I went on Vacation. I went to San Franciso. It was cold.
I stayed with my bestus friends Jeremie and Becky. We did stuff. Max had fun too.
We went to the park and played in the sand. We met Jeremies friends which sucked.
Because now I can't be friends with them. Cause I live in another city. We went
and saw Invincible because Brett likes shower scenes. I also got to see Jeremie's
friend Matt too. He is my friend too. Matt can't stand Jeremie so he is moving to
another city far away from him. I learned that Matt will
soon be closer to me than to Jeremie.
The drive was not any fun.
The end.

By Rocco Passionino

I have a dream.

-Quit my job
-Move to the west coast.
-Learn all there is to be learnable in Paragliding.
-Paraglide all the freakin time.
-do this
-Win a couple Million
.......
Wait..that last one should be first..sorry.
Anyways..I started my dream today..
I bought a lottery ticket.